I have come to learn that I have this little voice in my head. It is a hard thing to define. I am not talking the schizophrenic type of voices that are talking to you when there is no one else in the room. I am talking about that little voice which is a combination of upbringing, one’s values in life, one’s conscience and experiences. It’s the red light that goes off in your head when your heart is double beating and doing back flips.
I remember being a young girl growing up in a girl’s only boarding school and living on the ideal romantic notions of Mills and Boon novels. I knew exactly how my romantic dreams would be. One day, my price charming would “find” me and he would sweep me off my feet and then we would live happily ever after. Sounds very romantic shey? Well, one thing mills and boon did not remember to mention is how many frogs and crocodiles I would have to kiss before finding my prince charming. I have certainly met my fair share of frogs, crocs and olocious fellows. With each one of them, I learn a bit more about this road to happily ever after bliss.
The latest misdirection was a 32 year old weed smoker with quite a colorful history (Mr Long Legz). Mr Long Legz had all my alarm bells going off at first but I did not listen to that tiny voice at the back of my head. Guy was good looking, apparently single but as I came to find out… also emotionally unavailable. He was blowing hot and cold simultaneously like a mobile heating/cooling device. I thought I would watch and observe. A few more weeks of getting to know Mr Long Legz had me seeing all sorts of revelations. It is a good thing not to rush into anything with a guy. If a girl/guy truly likes a guy, it is not difficult to tell because at least both parties will treat themselves with respect and not disrespect the intelligence of the other (I consider things like mind games disrespecting another’s intelligence).
Ohh.. and another lesson learnt, if you meet a man who smokes, has smoked for a considerable number of years, and he tells you that he is giving up, or about to give up, or tells you he is smoking his last cigarette because you are saying you don’t date guys who smoke. LIE. Trust me, he is smoking those cigarettes where your beady little eyes can’t see him. If a grown ass man did not think he would quit smoking before he met you, what makes you think you are so special that he will give up the tobacco sticks.. just saying
Always listen to the inner voice... it is rarely wrong.