Chronicles of Ajala who travelled the World

Dating the Naija way

2011-10-18T09:14:00.000-07:00

My people, to be a single hard working Naija girl at the age of 26 (fast approaching 27) is not an easy business oh. You get your mates who got married at 22 with 3 kids asking when they are coming to eat your “wedding rice” – as if they don’t know how to cook rice in their own house. Then there are the ones who are telling you not to do too much “shakara” for potential suitors – Who says I am doing “shakara”? Just because I am single at 26 does not mean I will shack up with just any “olocious” fellow. Those are the girls. Where do I start with the suitors? There are the ones who meet you and after 2 weeks are professing love and marriage (as if!) I don’t get why Naija guys do that ish!. You also get to meet the ones who just want to “have a good time” Boy oh boy does a young girl tread through serious minefield of never-ending issues.
I was in church last Sunday and Pastor preached one very stimulating sermon. “ it is better to wait 10 – 15 years for your life partner than to hook up with someone who is not for you now… you will regret it” I truly believe that pastor was talking to me.

So there was the recent bobo I met. Only calls like once in 2/3 days. He has asked me to be his “girl” but something just doesn’t feel right. As in, bobo is saying he is interested but actions show otherwise. I am the type of girl who loves attention, I love to talk about my day, I love to be free with my inner emotions and be chased about with telephone calls and text messages and also call up my boo anytime I like but it must be with the right guy. Emphasis on the RIGHT GUY. And this is the problem with Naija boy/girl relations. The games that people play for each other in the name of “fronting”. My word.. then there are also the guys who are afraid of confident successful females. Abeg, if a guy does not feel confident enough to step up to me, I don’t even want to hear it. I am not interested. This is a definite attraction killer for me. I cannot apologize for who I am today and how far I have come. It did not happen overnight. If only I could tell my story in a book, I would write a million pages!

So with this said, I am honestly getting sick and tired of Naija boy drama and all the protocols. What ever happened to boy meets girl, boy likes girl and girl likes boy, they date, enjoy themselves, move things to the next level and everyone lives happily ever after? ( in my dreams shey??) Lol!

Well, I am making a pact with myself. I find love where I find love. I end up living my life for me and no one else. All these fake naija boys can go hug transformer for all I care

(apologies to my correct male readers! Of course you know that wasn’t for you!!)

Tolantion

Sixth Sense and more

2011-10-13T15:05:00.001-07:00

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you were about to do something that didn't just feel quite right? You couldn't really put your finger on what was amiss but you just had that overwhelming feeling you were about to make a giga mistake.

After my recent man issue, I thank God for sixth sense oh! As in, Tolantino was just about to hug fire. I have learnt now more than ever to listen to that little voice inside my head that switches on when I feel the slightest doubt in my dealings with people.

I have been stressed for the past couple of months with work. Girl has been working towards a project that would lead to a major milestone at work and tomorrow is the D-DAY. I feel confident enough. I just need to get my beauty sleep now. Maybe one day I will tell my story.... but for now, its snooze time. Bon nuit....

Technology

2011-07-03T17:17:00.001-07:00

I'm trying my best to not be infuriated by technology. Succumbing to this would mean risking being left behind in this unrelenting race of keeping up with the latest gadgets and apps. For well over a year now, I've been riding the blackberry band wagon. Blackberry was good at first. But the rather frequent crashes were not so hot. Very annoying to say the least. Now, I'm spotting a HTC phone. It's touch screen and all. I remember holding this phone the first day and thinking what the hell am I going to do with it. A few weeks on and things are already looking bright. I will survive with the phone afterall. One cool thing which I have found is the Blogger app.....were! It means I have my blog on mobile. I always seem to have so many thought that fly away before I get the chance to put fingers to keypad. I'll have to see how this one turns out!

One woman and her hair journey

2011-06-07T16:35:00.000-07:00

Over the past few years, I have always been at odds with the tub of hair straightening relaxers which we black women so frighteningly turn to on a regular basis. Why is it that we are so convinced of the fact that the natural follicles growing out of our head is not good for us?? At what point in our history did someone make the decision that the black person’s hair is bad??

Think about it for a hot second.. The Caucasians, the Asians, all races have features that set them apart. God has created each race with distinct features which are unique to them. Why would God (forget God for a second here).. why would nature even, have caused us to evolve with hair that is not good?? As far as I am concerned, we black women have undergone decades of mis- education, mis-information and ignorance about what is actually good for us. Over the generations, instead of learning how best to grow and nurture our naturally different hair, we have allowed convention to teach us to pour harsh and damaging chemicals into our hair. I cannot begin to recount the number of black women whom I have seen with receding hairline all the way around the hair line (and they are only still in their twenties!). It’s unbelievable.

I am not saying that I have never turned to a tub of relaxer in the past. As a matter of fact, I remember pulling out all the stops to get my first relaxer at the age of 13. I was convinced that my life would be much better only if my hair was bone straight. I would only look beautiful when all my afro curls magically disappeared with the administration of Venus relaxer product. I would be as beautiful as the women on the adverts. Guess what?? Applying relaxers was only the beginning of my confusion. I never really noticed my hair grow. Every time I washed my hair (maybe every 6 weeks.. imagine the stink!) I would lose clumps of hair. There was never any indication that my hair was growing at all. I was convinced that we black people were just cursed with our afro hair. I was convinced of this until a few years ago when I started to find information on the internet. I found a wealth of information on African American women who were starting to discover how to manage and nurture their own natural hair. Now, I am not talking about a bunch of religiously obsessed mixed race women who only want to have natural products on their heads and are blessed with good genes. I am talking about well educated BLACK professionals and youths who wanted to challenge the status quo which dictates that every black woman should have fake hair like Beyonce.

In the winter of 2005, I became angry enough with my relaxed hair that I decided to just cut it off. I wasn’t thinking clearly about my plan of action. I just knew that I wanted to take my relaxed hair off my head so I did a butchers job of it. Lol. This is quite funny because at the time, I just grew my hair and kept it natural. I was not aware of how to maintain it. I did not have any agenda on how I intended to nurture my hair. Also, I faced a lot of pressure from friends and family on my decision. Every time I went back to Nigeria, friends and family would comment on how nuts I was. In December of 2009, I lost track of my purpose and I ended up relaxing my hair. The minute I did this, I knew it was the wrong decision for me. I would spend the next 18 months grieving for my natural hair. But I knew that I was not ready for it. I was not armed with the information which I needed to ensure that my natural journey was successful.

********sorry for the low resolution pictures from 2005 - 2006***************

In October 2010, I was again angry with the relaxer and I chopped off my hair… again. Lol! Yes.. I did.. I chopped it off. This time around, I felt like I was in a better place to handle my natural hair compared to 2005. Now I had the courage to style my natural hair and go to work while back in 2005 I would never do this ( what is the point in keeping natural hair if you are not going to wear it out right??)

A few months down the line, I am doing well with my natural hair. I have learnt to condition and pamper my hair. I have learnt that an

yone who says a black woman does not need to wash her hair every week is a liar. I have learn protective styles for my natural hair and I have most importantly learnt how to respond to people who tell me that my hair is “different”

My hair is 100% kinky and I am

from Oke-Odo in Ibadan, Nigeria.. there is no racial mixing history in my family which my hair could have benefited from. I believe that every black woman can do this but I am not advocating to convince every black woman to go the same route as me. I am just simply sharing my experience.

2011

I hope you can see the differences in how my hair looked back in 2005 when I sponteanously went natural without being fully prepared and in 2011 when I was actually taking proper care of my hair. The 2011 pictures are less than a years worth of growth and I have since trimmed the ends to ensure the relaxed bits were totally taken off.

It is my hope that as my hair continues to grow, I can share with blogsville my experience and hopefully one day encourage someone to go “NATCHIE”

27th Feb 2011

2011-02-27T12:54:00.001-08:00

For well over a year now, I have stayed away from my blog. I have not been in a place where I felt like sharing anything speak less of opening my heart out to blogsville.

I have noticed that a huge number of folks are no longer blogging. Maybe they have moved on. I have also noted that a huge number of bloggers are still in here doing their thing. This is really good. That is some commitment.

It is very interesting how the UK seems to sap the life out of you. Something about this country just aint right. My present local government area is not even making things any better. The past year has been one thing after the other. Frigging anti immigration sentiments is running deep. The UKBA is formulating tight policies to keep non-eu immigrants out of the country. A few of my friends have fallen in the process and it just doesn’t feel right.

Another thing on my mind is the question of relationships. Is it possible to actually make a long distance relationship work?? Ie Lagos vs. London. I have always managed to steer clear of this but recent happenings have brought these thoughts to the forefront of my mind.

Another thing is that I am working too hard. (At least I am getting the recognition for it which is the only solace here) Work in the UK is just that.. WORK.. catch flu.. work some more.. catch some more flu.. go on holiday and repeat the cycle.. Highly disturbing I tell you. It will be nice to get another assignment abroad and just step away from the UK for a bit. Lol.

A recent story in the news is of a certain 20yrs old naija-british girl called “Claudia” Claudia was a very pretty student based in London and she seemed to have it all..everything except a big ass.. ie Nikky Minaj type ass. Claudia had the ambition of being the ultimate hip hop honey and shaking it in hip hop videos but her lack of booty made her career prospects a bit bleak. So, Claudia turned to the internet to find a place where she could acquire some extra booty. A few months later, Claudia checked into a budget hotel in the US where she was administered a fatal injection of industrial grade silicone into her ass. 12 hours later she had some severe chest pains and she died of cardiac arrest at the hospital.

What really strikes me is the desperation people seem to face when they think a certain part of their bodies does not conform. Why did Claudia have to think her life could never be complete without a big ass? How could she have let anyone stick a big needle in her and inject her with crap that was so lethal? My big fear now of plastic cosmetics procedures is the desperation of people and how they would sign up for quacks in order to get cheap deals.

I would not be surprised if the next story I read would be that of some fat person who was so frustrated with being fat that they resorted to performing a homemade liposuction procedure using a dyson power ball hoover!

Stay bless you all!

Oslo – One Massive Deep Freeze

2010-03-06T06:24:00.000-08:00

Norway is a beautiful country. They people have a good quality of life, they dress nice, get paid shit loads of money and generally, Norwegians are not know for making much trouble around the world. So when an opportunity came up to do a work thing in Oslo in Feb, I snapped it up without thinking much of it. I was actually looking forward to it as my first and last time in Norway was a job interview in Stavanger and the whole trip was less than 48hrs. All in all, this trip was going to be a lovely trip.

The only thing I did not bargain for was the frigidity of the Norwegian state in the month of February. My Lawd!! Words do not begin to describe the coldness of the situation. It was snowing constantly and ice was piling up on ice. Temperature was at -12degC (10.4 degF) and I was totally perplexed with snow. All i wanted to do was go to the office, back to the hotel and jump under the blanked. However, i did not resign myself to such a boring fate. I went out as much as I could, drink as little as i could because i did not have the 6 pounds to pay for a simple bottle of J2O. Did i mention how expensive things are out there??

The highlight of my trip to Oslo was looking for Vigeland Park with my French workmate. Now, i had heard that the Norwegians had a park which was filled with naked statues so i thought i would be doing a great dis-service to myself by not going. Only problem was that the temperature was well below freezing, it was snowing buckets, we were on foot for a long time and my French friend even managed to hit the floor on slippery ice! By the time we found Vigeland Park, yours truly had turned into a pillar of ice, frozen fingers and toes. Hehehe, this was not a funny matter. For a split second, i panicked because i could not feel my own fingers.. lol..

To be honest with you, i was happy when the trip ended. I was looking forward to the warm 2degC temperatures that London had to offer. Everyone on the plane had a runny nose or one kind of transmutation of the cold.

All in all, if you intend on going to enjoy Norway (and you don’t intend to go skiing), do not go in the first quarter of the year. You may just be disappointed. (And do not go when you are broke)

First Date and Valentines Day

2010-02-16T12:16:00.000-08:00

On Valentines Day, I remember my first date ever. It was also the most unexpected date which happened to coincided with Valentine ’s Day. His name was T (I am on the coded level here)

T worked for a company that was providing some contracting work for the company which I worked with. Now, I must say that being the only Sista in that building at the time, I did get great deal of attention from the guys, especially those doing contracting work. All they ever managed to muster to me was a simple “hi”. But deep down inside in my sprit, I could still feel their eyes on me as I turned my back and walked away.
So this day happened to be two days before Valentine ’s Day. This was me, totally single, without a date and without any prospects of a date. My valentine’s day was going to be a very boring one. I had noticed T as one of the workers in the building at the time but like I said, all he ever said to me was a polite ‘hi’. On this very day, he stopped me on the corridor and asked me what I thought of the work which they had been doing in the office. Well, what else I could say but to sing out praises. I gave a very polite reply and went my way. Two hours later, I went up to get myself some coffee and bumped into T again. I smiled and he asked me if I lived in the Area. I gave him a general description of the town in which I lived and he seemed to know the area as well. In the middle of our conversation, my manager walked past and he went off. A minute later, my manager’s manager walked past and gave me this funny look like “WTF is Tola doing chatting to this guy in work time!” hehehehehe. You know sometimes that looks carry a heavier weight that actual words so I excused myself from T and went back to my desk. Two hours later, I went up to get another cup of tea (we like to drink tea in jand) and yet again bumped into T. At this point, I had sensed that guy was dieing to have a conversation with me and I could also sense his apprehension. This time around, he asked me what I was up to, if I had any plans, blah blah blah. He asked if I would just go out with him for dinner or some drinks. I thought to myself “Brother is asking me out” While doing so, I could sense that he was almost just suggesting it rather than saying it straight forward. I said yes. Why the heck not! I could see the relief on his face at this point. He asked for my number to text me the details, I put it on a sticky pad for him.
Later that evening, I got a text message from T. He said that he had booked a table for two at some restaurant in my area for valentine’s eve and he wanted to know if I would be able to make it. I did not reply that message; I was starting to develop cold feet. I was starting to get a bit liver-less because it occurred to me that this was actually going to be my FIRST date ever (my first proper date) 2 hrs after the text message, T called me back ( I think he must have sensed that I was about to back out or something) He asked me if I would be coming out to dinner, the table had been reserved (how could I say no now that bobo had gone through all this effort) He said that he doesn’t drink much alcohol so he would come pick me up at my place (gosh.. I was so excited, it was going to be just like in the movies.. boy comes to pick girl up at her place for the first date. The only thing missing was the parents who would quiz boy about how late I was going to be out.. lol) Anyways.. I agreed to the date…

I went out for my first official date a day before valentines day. T was bang on time.. he pulled up, picked me up and we had a nice meal and nice conversation. Lol.. The waitress asked us what we would be up to after dinner and T explained to her that we had only just officially met up the day before at my place of work and I had agreed to come out with him. Lol.. I was blushing and all that. Dinner ended quite early, till this day, I still have quite fond memories of my first date..

I hope you all had a happy Valentines…

Tolantion

Bikini Clad Fantasies

2010-02-08T13:41:00.000-08:00

Ever since the moment I realised I was my own person and I could do whatever I wanted to do, the first thought that came to my mind back in 2006 was that I wanted to go to Ibiza. Why Ibiza? Well, Ibiza was the HQ of British sin-dom at the time. Teenagers going out on dead cheap flights, cavorting on the streets and getting arrested. I did not pick Ibiza because i wanted to get myself arrested but I picked Ibiza because it was probably the only holiday that I could afford at the time. They had week deals for ridiculous prices like 150Euros. Now if that was not a deal, I don’t know what would have been
Part of my Ibiza fantasy involved buying my very first bikini. Lol. Yes, Myself, TOLANTINO, at some sinful holiday resort in Ibiza, sipping on Mojitos, Cosmopolitan cocktails the whole lot, in my very sinful looking bikini beside the pool just enjoying myself into oblivion. But this fantasy was not complete. The next part would involve me slowly setting aside my empty cocktail glass and sashaying into the pool for a cool off swim. My GOODNESS.. that was the ultimate fantasy. However, there was a small glitch in this fantasy, Tolantino could not swim even if her life depended on it.
I just could not swim! I never learnt to swim as a child. So this little detail made my little Ibiza fantasy an impossible one. There is no way on earth I would go to Ibiza, lay beside the pool in a bikini, sip on cocktails in my bikini and not go into the pool for a cool off swim. No way. I was going to make this fantasy work one way or the other though and this was what motivated me to take up swimming classes in my final year at uni.
I vividly remember my first swimming class in the winter of 2005. I was so terrified to let go of the side of the pool. My instructor kept reassuring me and here was this grown ass of a 20 year old female screaming ‘’ Mommy.. I can’t do it’’ hehehehehehe. My instructor would come back and say ‘’Tola.. your mommy is not going to help you.. Let go of the wall!’’ Lol. I slowly started to understand that there was no way I would drown in 1m depth of water, I learnt my balance. We moved on to the breast strokes and the front crawl. I learnt my breathing techniques. I completed the beginner’s class and I believe till this day that this is one of my greatest non-academic accomplishments (other than passing my UK Driving Test!) I am so proud of myself for getting over my fear of drowning and trusting my body to keep me afloat. One of the most difficult things one could ever do as an adult is learn to swim. You have to get over your fear of drowning and this is not as easy as it may sound.

Recently, I graduated to the deep end of the pool. 2.0m and I felt totally confident. My new gym has a massive swimming pool as well so I will be going more often to practice my strokes. I am even thinking of joining the advanced swimming class now. I cannot wait to see how that goes

Why am I blogging about swimming again?
Firstly, I am trying to relate this to things in life which one may think is totally impossible and people’s reactions to such things. I look back 5 years to the day i bought my first swim suit and stepped into a pool for the first time. I remember those friends who teased me and said my ass was too big to float and i also remember those friends who were inspired by me and also took the step of learning to swim (and are still swimming!) Never let negativity and what people say affect your dreams baby. You are more than all that. The most important thing is your ability and your aspirations.
Secondly, I am finally going to buy that bikini, that bikini is going to be BAD ASS and I am not going to Ibiza. I’m thinking South America, maybe Venezuela where people live in their bikinis!! God knows I deserve this!

I think I may be back

2010-02-07T16:14:00.000-08:00

After a lot of debating with myself to see if I would carry on with this blog or not, I have finally decided to carry on blogging. I sort of feel as if I have a story to tell, and I have not even started my story. I thought about opening another anonymous blog but I felt that would be like a betrayal to the memory of THIS blog and why I started blogging in the first place.
Blogsville has changed for real. I cannot find Naapali, Naija Waitress, even Pink Gloves now has a private blog. I need to remind her in my next convo with her that she never invited me to her brand new private blog. I wonder what that girl is putting up on the web (by invitation only my ass). Having said that, I am so happy to see people like Sisto, 30+ and Aloted doing their thing on blogsville.it is well, more internet bandwidth to all your elbows.

Soo, Tolantino is back. (Again)
One Love Y’all

The thing with wearing your heart on your sleeves...

2010-02-07T15:58:00.000-08:00

The thing with wearing your heart on your sleeves is that it can be easily snatched away from you and trampled on by all and sundry. Its a shame but life is such that people with good intentions always end up on the wrong end of the stick. The end of the stick that is attached to the mop if you catch my drift.

Live life without expecting too much from the people around you. To expect too much is to leave you open to disappointment
Live life like there will be no tomorrow. Enjoy the now with the fullness of your heart and let no one tell you that you cannot be whom you want to be or do what you want to do because YOU are the person who determines your path in life. Never forget that
Do not give a shit about what other people think. If they are not happy with you, they can go to blazes. You have your head firmly screwed to your neck so what else could they possibly want. You cannot make everyone be happy with you. If they are not happy, then they can die unhappy
To sit and do nothing about your “Situation” is like to expect to pass an exam without actually attending classes or doing any studies. How the heck do you expect to pass that exam again hun?? Get yourself some brawns and get off your backside. Life waits for no one
Btw, what the heck are you still doing with your heart still on your sleeves?? Put it right back in your chest this minute and grown some gall bladder..There is no room for self pity. There is no room for weakness.. Promise yourself never again.. Promise yourself this one thing babe and so help you God!

(Amen)

Johannesburg (South Africa), Gaborone (Botswana)

2009-08-17T04:56:00.000-07:00

I have a long time friend called Thandi. I met her in 2001 during my first year at the Manchester Metropolitan University. We have since been friends through thick and thin. I like to call her “My Ride or Die Chic” You know that kind of friend who has seen you at your lowest and at the same time rocked with you during the time of abundance. That’s who Thandi is to me. To cut the long story short, Thandi is from Botswana. The first time she told me her country, I was like “huh? Where be that?” Lol. It was from her that I learnt that Botswana is a prosperous African country of about 3 million people (only!) in the southern region of Africa. Botswana is a country blessed with diamonds and shares boarders with South Africa, Zimbabwe and Namibia. So I find myself in Botswana with Thandi after a long driver through Johannesburg in South Africa and guess who drove the whole 450km?. Lol. I will be here for a total of 2 weeks before I return back to the UK. The whole trips has been so surreal and trust that I will sit down to dedicate a thorough post. For now, I am enjoying what it is to be in a prosperous African nation. The prosperity is so amazing that it almost brings tears to my eyes knowing that this is something Nigeria desperately needs. I will be sure to update this blog with full details of my trip once I am back in the UK. Until then… stay blessed!

Tolantino (without wax...)

Software Upgrade - Not much of an Upgrade

2009-07-09T11:58:00.000-07:00

Office 2007??

This piece of software is seriously killing me. Having a work laptop sucks. You don’t have a choice of what to put on the computer or what to NOT put on the computer. Left to me, I would stick with office 2003. Afterall, I have been using it for donkey years and never had an issue with it. But Big Blue had to switch everyone one to office 2007 and since then, my life has not been the same. The simple act of composing in Microsoft word becomes a huge chore when you don’t know where the “insert caption” button is. Everything I need to do, I have to “F1” the information.(deep hiss) I don’t need all this yeye learning curves. All I need is to be able to cook up a document in Word and not rekindle my computer-illiterate years

The Gift of Life

2009-06-22T10:40:00.000-07:00

It’s rather funny how we live life without noticing the little things which we take for granted e.g, the idea of Life itself. Being able to wake up in the morning, hugging the people we love most, picking up the phone and calling them up to make arrangements and hearing the soothing sound of their breadths at the other end of the phone. It’s a shame how we do not acknowledge those little things that makes our lives so much more bearable. We are indeed fortunate.

To bring things into perspective, stretch out your left hand before your eyes and observe all five fingers. Look at the length of your fingers. They all vary in length. I look at my left hand as I type this post and wonder why all five fingers are not equal. Could it be that there is a true purpose behind this?. For instance, the varying length of all five fingers makes it so much easier for me to find the entire keys one my keyboard. I doubt if this simple act of typing could have been achieved with as much ease compared to if all five fingers were equal.

You guys are probably wondering where all this is going right? Well, I am a bit unwell right now and have been told to stay away from work (this illness is story for another day). When you are home with so much time on your hands, its amazing the sorts of thoughts which plays through your mind like a home video.

I know of a family friend who recently died in her prime. She was young, mid twenties, had all of her life to live. She was loved dearly, she loved dearly, and she was cherished by many. She was a star and she was shinning at her brightest. But she had been marked from birth with an allergy. This allergy killed her in her prime. I was not a close friend to her however; I am in the same age group as she is. The only difference between us two is that I do not have an allergy (not that I know of anyway) My point is this, that girl could have still been here, with the ones that loved her. But due to some catastrophic fate, she just had to have an allergy! This really angers me! Why did this have to happen to her? Death does not make sense. I have known a lot of people die young, but for some reason, I look at her picture and I feel all the wrong-ness of the situation. She could have grown well beyond all of her parents aspirations; she could have smiled her beautiful smile once again. Her parents could have been spared the hurt of burying an only daughter.

Another story making the rounds in the news today is regarding the late Cameroonian international footballer, MarcViven Foe. He was an international star, great charisma; he was at the top of his game. He was 100% fit as a horse but, he was also marked with a heart defect he didn’t even know anything of. The whole world watched him slump to his death on a football pitch.. He was only 27/28 yrs old. It kind of makes you wonder doesn’t it? Is there something anatomically wrong with you? Something that could be a potential time bomb?

So as a conclusion to this rather depressing post, there are so many things out there that could kill you, ranging from “natural causes” such as an enlarged heart, an allergy or whatever to the “un-natural causes” which include the deranged psycho-killer, the drunk driver driving in the wrong lane or the crazy okada rider who almost ploughs his motor bike into you on the pedestrian pavement!. We cannot sit by and let these things hold us down.

I hope that people with allergies are more aware of the seriousness of their conditions and do more to avoid making contact with things that could kill them. I hope the public becomes more aware of the seriousness of having an allergy and help sufferers in staying away from their allergies. I feel rather ashamed to confess that I have always brushed off people having allergies as being ridiculous and far fetched. I have never known anyone with an allergy and the case I have written about came as a bit of a shock to me.

I hope that people become more aware that the human body is not an indestructible appliance. A single bolt out of place or misaligned can bring it all down. I hope that we can all learn to live our lives to the fullest when we have the opportunity to do so because this life, though precious and sweet, can come to an all too sudden end much sooner than anticipated

Last Post In India

2009-06-22T09:24:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys.. I mentioned that I made a post on my last day in India. I am attaching my writings and thoughts below:

Over the last couple of months, I totally lost any type of interest in maintaining this blog. I recognized this as a turning point in my life. I had basically come to accept India for what it is. Mumbai where I am based may not be the best place in the world, but its certainly not the worst. According to an article on CNN, the worst place to live and work in the world is Lagos. Yes my brothers and sisters, our very own Lagos and Mumbai came in at an impressive 5th. I was convinced that if Mumbai was not the top of the list, it would certainly be the second. But I was forced to eat my words people.

Over the last few months, I have done a lot of things in india. I visited New Delhi which is like the Abuja of India. I also went on a suicidal road trip to infamous Goa. The total distance from Mumbai is 550km on what is the most tiniest, zig-zagest, hilliest and most perilous road that I have ever been on in my entire life. We had rented a car and the whole journey took a total of 10hrs. By the time we got to Goa, I had cursed myself on numerous occasions. I was being tight and didn’t want to pay the 20,000 rupees for the return flight. I ended up paying less than 5000 rupees for the entire car trip. The to and fro journey took 24hrs and believe me, the Goa experience is second to none. The drive was the most scenic of my life. I would definitely go again but definitely not by road.

Ahh.. life has been good. I was in Naija for xmas and new year. I came back to India and went on a work related trip to Houston. The experience was nice but I swear to God that the most stupidest thing I have ever done, other than travelling to Goa by road was to choose to go to Houston for work seminar from India (18hrs total trip.. minus transit times) when I could have hopped on a 4hr plane from Mumbai to Abu-Dhabi to do the same course. I was jetlagged for almost one week. Working with 12hrs time difference, it felt like my body was in Houston, but my spirit, kidney, liver and all other vital organs were in Mumbai. Totally awful experience. I would not do it again except there is entirely no other options available.

I came back from Houston to find that I am being transferred back to the UK. The news came as a bit of a shock at first because I was not expecting to go back until Oct 09. They wanted me to go back 6 months early and they wanted me out of the country like yesterday. Everything was so rushed up. I only got the transfer letter 8 days ago and here I am, sitting at the Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport, Mumbai, waiting on my Qatar plane to start boarding for the trip back to Manchester. All my belongings in Mumbai were picked up two days ago by the shipping company. Everything has been a blur to be quite honest with you. But with all certainty, I will be arriving in Manchester later today.

I will miss so many things about Mumbai. The cheapness of the place for starters. The ability to just walk into a 5 star hotel or bar and just ENJOY.. hehehe…My friends and other expat co-workers, Dela-Madam. Between Friday and Wednesday, I swear they must have sent me off like 5 different times every single day of the week. I will miss these guys so dearly. Everything did seem a bit artificial to me in the beginning and I knew it would all have to come to an end but I just didn’t expect it to end so soon. Its all this failing world economy. I blame it on the economic downturn. But to be honest with you, I am excited to go back. I will be going to shop for a car. I will start looking for a flat. My gosh.. I am all giddy with excitement.

In all, India for me has been an incredible experience. I will never regret my choice in leaving the comfy-ness of my place in Manchester and embarking on this journey. A lot of people thought I was crazy to do this but it was worth it. There have been tears, laughter, despair, anger, loneliness, fear, joy, contentment and every other emotion that you can think of. I am so very much grateful.

I don’t know if I will be keeping up this blog when I go back to the UK. I am still thinking of it. I will make up my mind depending on what I encounter when I get there.

PS: Someone from work in india discovered my blog and he came up to me asking “You don’t really like India now do you?” I was like.. “Ermm… Ermmm.. “ But what I should have said is that “its my blog.. my expressions.. leave it to me and keep your opinions to your very opinionated self!” hehehe.. lol.. But really, there isn’t anything offensive on this blog is there? As per work related and stuff? If anyone thinks I may be stepping on some sensitive toes, please let me know and I will exercise caution.

Tolantino..

The Proverbial Prodigal Daughter

2009-06-17T05:33:00.000-07:00

Goshness…

How does one get to explain such a long absence from THE BLOG? Where do I start from? It is almost impossible to pack into one single post all the experiences, ups and downs, highs and lows and everything else that has happened since.. well since the last post. I have received quiet a few messages from good fellow bloggers asking me to update and my frame of mind was just too far removed from blogging that I could not bring finger to keyboard and pour all my feelings into a page or two of Microsoft word. I guess sitting here in a stuffy cyber café in Lagos; I have found the inspiration which I have not been able to summon for such a long time. That and the fact that I have been having this nagging feeling for that past year or two of wanting to write a book. Yea.. Tolantino writes a book! Waddaya make of that?? Lol.. Its not going to be an autobiography (God No!) I am too young for all that and besides.. I believe there is still more in store for me. I have not arrived yet. I am still on my journey and when I get to my destination, maybe I will write an autobiography!

I know you want to know the latest with me right? Well.. I LEFT INDIA!!! (I am sure a lot of you guys are singing hallelujah choruses on my behalf) I left in March and was transferred back to the office in UK. I remember sitting at the Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport in Mumbai on my last day out of India and I made a post for this blog. This was back in March and I had every intention of posting it up here. I just never got around to it. Well, I will be putting it up hopefully sometime soon.
I miss Mumai! Would you believe that? I miss the craziness of the place as well as the frustrations of trying to communicate with the rickshaw drivers or the sales man at the shop or the waiter whom you have asked for a dish with no spice at all and who then returns with a dish swimming in so much spice that you have to abandon the meal. India has made me a more tolerant person. I have seen people being inhuman to each other and I have seen poverty but despite all the squalor, there was contentment. If given the chance, I would do it all over again, shed all those tears again and make the entire discovery all over again. Most of all, I miss the good friends I left behind. I miss the people who helped me to get through it all. I miss the workmate who sat with me as I cried on the helideck and the guy who wrote down Hindi words for me on the back of my diary so that I could communicate with the maid or the market men/women. I feel tears welling up in my eyes but I am done shedding tears for India. I am now in my NOW and I am looking forward to the rest of my life!
Since then, I have house hopped, bought a car called “Sandra”, got a flat of my own (Gosh the responsibilities involved in being the sole occupant of a flat!) and I have started to become a responsible young lady. Hehehehe.. (Not that I was ever irresponsible)
In addition to all this, I now have an office job which at first was so weird. Imagine not wearing ripped jeans and flip flops to work! It was the weirdest thing ever and it had to take some getting used to I tell you. I had to go shop for clean clothes and ditch all the coveralls and hard hats ( I had to clean up real nice o) Lol.

Anyways, This is supposed to be a very short post, notifying this blog of my intentions to resume blogging. Just like the proverbial prodigal son who returned to his fathers home, the prodigal daughter returns to Blogsville. I wonder what tone this blog will take from now onward as there is no more India to rant about but trust Miss Tolantino to come up with something eh?

Just look out for the next post..

Complements of the season… from Lagos

2008-12-26T23:19:00.002-08:00

After the terrorists’ attacks in Mumbai, I was sent to the rig shortly after, Discoverer 534 (my most fav rig so far). I went prepared with Xmas cards to give to my most fav people. Funny thing is that most people did not expect this gesture and it was well appreciated. My pastor will say I am sowing seeds.. hehehe.. The job itself was not a very stressful one. Just me and another guy. Very cool dude o. everything was too smooth with enough days as standby. Free money! My oga pulled me out of the rig like say two days before my Naija plane was due to leave Mumbai. I could not make it to Mumbai on the same day so had to spend the night in Rajahmundry.. Kai.. that place is dry sha. A whole Rajahmundry and nothing to do there.. The following day, I had to endure a 4hrs trip to Visakhapatnam aka Vizag to catch the flight leaving from there to Mumbai. I was already having visions of missing the following day’s flight to Lagos. I hadn’t done any kind of shopping and I was going to Naija the following day. The Lord is definitely my strength.

I got to Mumbai late in the evening on Thursday and started putting my things together. Following evening for 7pm, I was on the emirates flight leaving Mumbai for Dubai. I had already scheduled my flight in such a way that I would have a 15hrs layover in Dubai. Emirates had already booked hotel and visa on my behalf. All on the house.. very sweet.

I got to Dubai and first thing I did was call my girl Pink Gloves. Shout out to PG!! You sabi rock my girl. Took a taxi to her place and my girl had enough groove planned for me. From Trader Vicks to some other place that I cannot remember for the life of me. This was after I had sampled her pepper shripme.. that babe can also cook!! PG.. RESPEC o! I did not get back to my hotel room till 3.00am.. just in time to catch a quick nap for check out at 6.30am then straight back to Dubai airport to catch the 9.15am connection to Lagos. That layover is the best connection layover of my life.. hehehe.. enough groove..I shall be laying over more often in Dubai now.

Naija people can pack load sha.. all these market women in Dubai airport with enough cabin baggage that is even more than check in limit. Why now?? Then they will now come and obtain the bin space on top of your seat like say you did not pay for your seat on the plane. Kai.. and then there was the naija man who started to lament at the boarding gate that someone had stolen his passport. Enough drama for my entertainment o.

Na so I enter Lagos.. Lagos Na Wah O! Kai.. From Nepa to Bad Roads to Traffic to everything else.. Lagos is just too Much.. hehehe.. But the things I appreciate about lagos.. The liveliness of the place, the insanity of the place, seeing my family, being able to go to Ibadan for my cousins wedding.. Meeting Pink Gloves a week later in Lagos.. being able to go to saloons anyhow..Grooving on the Island.. anyone heard about 007 bar on the island.. if you never hear.. make you go find am.. and carry enough money with you. Gosh.. enough things that make me home sick for lagos. But I think this lagos is not the kind of place you come to for more than two weeks. Nepa has frustrated me die.. Mosquitoes sef take frustration join. I had a very good xmas. I went to visit family and friends.. everything was jolly.. even the police officers on the road were rather jolly. Greeting me Merry Xmas madam..” wetin you get for us??” (what do you have for us?) It is only in Lagos that the police officers will be greeting you “happy Monday madam” “Happy Tuesday” and Happy everyday of the week.. these guys are hungry!

Lagos and weddings.. people just dey marry anyhow.. even as I dey type.. I got one wedding to go today.. hehehe.. last week Saturday too.. I was at another wedding.. fun fun fun.. Lagos is just too much with all the craziness and all the fun that is there to be had!! If it is not a wedding.. it is a birthday party, if it is not birthday party, it is promotion party, there is sha always one kind of party or the other going on.. I love Lagos for this!

Wishing you all a happy new year in advance!

Terror Attacks in Mumbai: I am okay

2008-11-30T06:59:00.000-08:00

My people of blogsville.. I am fine.. Safe and sound. I generally live about 2.5hrs drive from the downtown area of Mumbai where all the attacks happened but I was incidentally having dinner with friends who live not so far from the attack sites. Shey you guys remember I have a new dentist. My dentist is not so far from the sites so I went to visit him on weds and then went on to spend sometime wit my friends who were in the area. Now, there is this Facebook group called Bombay Expats. They usually have an expat night every second weds at a restaurant which is just opposite the Taj Palace Hotel. My friends wanted to go, but because I had to travel back to my apartment and then go to the office the following day, I opted out. My girl Dee also opted out cos she has been having some back ache all week. We decided to settle for dinner and this was where we were having dinner when I got a text alert from my company’s security outfit around 11pm. The msg mentioned that there had been some disturbances in south Mumbai and to stay away from clubs and restaurants. Next thing I know..my older brother is calling me from London.. asking me where I was.. he was telling me that there were shootings and bombings in Mumbai and terrorist activities.. In his 5 mins call, I had received about 3 more text messages from my company and each one more ominous than the last. I was really scared at this time because I had just booked a taxi to take me back home (1 hr journey) I didn’t know where the bullets were coming from and I certainly was scared. One of my friends then came up with the craziest gist of all after she spoke to a co-worker. I kid you not… the gist went thus:

“A nigerian man wielding an AK47 has opened fire on people in the Leopolds restaurant.. so, the Indians in Mumbai are now seeking revenge on all black people in Mumbai” (leopolds was one of the restaurants which was attacked by the terrorists)

I am not joking guys.. hearing this gist.. my life almost flashed before me o.. I was like WTF! Someone give me Hijab I need to cover all of my face in this minute!!!

But then we got to a TV and then we saw the news.. there was no mention of the Nigerian AK47 gunman and to say I was relieved is an understatement. My company closed the offices on Thursday and Friday through to Sunday. Thank God the siege is over. I got so many telephone calls from friends and so many facebook messages from people whom I haven’t even spoken to in a long while. I am really touched.

One of the things I will take with me is how unpredictable this life is and how it could all be over so quickly. The areas of Mumbai which were attacked are places which I usually frequent for Sunday morning bruches whenever I am around. These terrorist could have decided to strike on one fine Sunday morning while me and my friends were munching away on brunch in one of these fine hotels.. I thank God I am safe.. and I also thank God that me and mine are also safe and sound!!

Thanks to you all for your messages…

Love..

Tola

D534-Mumbai-D534-Kakinad

2008-11-07T08:38:00.000-08:00

I came back from the rig only to arrive mumbai for my boss to call me early the following morning not to come to work. I was bewildered. How badly did I mess up for him to give me a personal call not to come to work when I haven’t even brushed my mouth so early in the morning? He then went on to mention that there had been reported cases of violence in Mumbai and all foreigners were advised to stay at home. Man! I was so elated! Just imagine.. free day off?? All because of why? Some politician named Raj Thackery had been mongering hate amongst the locals asking them to chase immigrants out of Maharastra state (for those who don’t know, Mumbai is a city and it is in Maharastra state as well as some other big cities like Pune) Tcheiw, come as see these jobless people burning toll booths and taxis early morning news. They can hardly feed themselves and come and see them throwing stones and being destructive. Anyways, me I no send anyone.. I took the day off and went to my local beauty parlor. I had a full body massage. It was total heaven. I even went comatose while the masseuse was doing her magic. It was the sound of me snoring that woke me up.. hehehe.. yea.. I hear myself snore.

Fast forward to the weekend. On Saturday I went to check out a new dentist. Did I mention that the last dentist I was with was starting to experiment with my mouth? I just generally had a bad feeling about this guy. So I took the train from Thane to a place called Dardar (yess o.. I am now bonafide Mumbai babe). Some chick on some Bombay expat group had recommended her dentist so I decided to go check him out. First thing Mr.Fancy New Dentist asked me for were the X-rays taken by the last dentist. Me I was like “err.. sorry Mr. Fancy.. I don’t have no X-rays” Mr. Fancy could not believe that the past dentist did not take x-rays before sticking braces in my mouth. I left his office feeling as though I was lucky to still have my teeth attached to my gums. Hehehe.. really.. this is not a funny matter o. I have now officially switched to Mr. Fancy. I will be commencing treatment in the next month or so.

Before I could say “Tolantino is back in Mumbai” My boss had sent me on another mission to Discoverer-534. I was working with Iti again and some other cool Indian guy. Really, I did have fun. The job was very short. I was there for six days and I probably only slept on 4 occasions for no more than 6hrs. It was work work work.. cool thing is that the guys working on the rig were also still very cool people. Very fun. They even used to pass me and Iti candies every now and again.. hehehe..The joys of being a woman on a testosterone filled offshore rig! I love D534 and I wanna go again!

Here you can see the rig floor in the background. This is where the drilling operations take place :-)

Last day on D534.. bone deep tired but still manage a smile :-D

I love this pic. (You can see fishermen from local villages who swamp our ship every evening in search of big fishes. there was a night we counted ab0ut 50 of them. The client then hired a small patrol boat to chase these fishermen from fishing close to the ship and disrupting operations.. you can see them advancing from the horizon. Make me feel as though we are being invaded!)

As soon as the job was done, we were already on a chopper back to Rajamundry. My boss sent us straight to Kakinada! Yikes.. You all know how much love I got for Kakinada. I came here with great trepidation/dread. From my own experiences, they only send you to kakinada when they wanna screw you over! I’ve been here twice in the past and they all had stories/experiences attached with them. I have blogged all about it.

So, on reaching Kakinada two days ago, I was put up in one of the company staff houses. Great thing about this place is that there are maids who wait on your 24/7 needs. Always at your beck and call.. hehehe and my room has mosquito nets so I am very well protected. This time around, I can actually say that I have been having fun in Kakinada. It is mighty strange though but seems like the angels are on my side this time around (not that they weren’t in the past) My second night here we went to Kakinada beach.

Lovely KKD Beach

Lovely KKD Sunset

It was so blue and non polluted. I really loved it. One of the managers here was being transferred to Turkmenistan so we all went to his place in the evening and had drinks over masala snacks.. my tongue was so numb from the alcohol that I did not feel the spiciness of the situation..hehehe.. it was really good fun hanging out with this guys.. seems like the kakinada folks are more friendly than the Mumbai office people. Nothing spoil sha. All this was last night. I didn’t even know I was intoxicated until I got up to leave and my head did like 20 back flips in 10 seconds.. hehehe.. I had totally arrived..

The guys in the KKD base had put up a volley ball net in front of our office so they invited me to come play. Your girl has never stood on a volley ball court ever but I am never one to turn down a challenge. It was us against drivers and security guards and technicians.. everyone was on on the Volley ball court. What was weird was that the guys were teaching me how to serve and they were going like “mam.. this is how to hold the ball..” I thought that was hilarious. Here is me, playing volley ball with the driver who will drive me home and he’s also teaching me how to make a volley! I totally loved it.

Armature volley ball player

RUN Tola.. RUN!!

So just before I went home, I bumped into this Gabonese guy whom I had seen in the Mumbai office. He works in KKD and has his wife and kid with him. He has invited me to come to meet his family on Sunday so I am looking forward to it. I pray my boss is not going to come up with some messed up job for me to do on Sunday o! Make una help me pray abeg!

So many many things have happened to me since my last post. One of my blog readers Engr. Nemo was going to be moving to India for work. She arrived and since we got chatting, we realized that we both live on the same road in FESTAC town. My lil brother used to roll with her older brother back in the days and there was a time I went to borrow movies from her in her house. If you don’t believe that we live in a small world.. this is proof. I cant wait to return to Mumabi and meet her

And my word OBAMA won the elections. I am not one to meddle with American politics but this is history in my time. The first black man to rule America…. I am glad I witnessed it. Though I must say that there was no way the guy wasn’t going to win after all the numbers that turned out to vote for him His African supporters who were not eligible to vote must have done their respective voodoo in his favo.Poor senator Mccain didn’t stand a chance..hehehe.. just kidding.
This is it my people. My blog is now up to date with the major events. I hope to catch up again very soon.. xoxo..

Tolantino…

Picture This...

2008-10-18T10:15:00.000-07:00

I mostly get a lot of people asking me questions relating to my work which I find very difficult to answer. Its not that I don’t know how to answer these questions but I find it very difficult to put into words the descriptions that would befit the working environment in which I have found myself.

Q: Tolantino, What do you do?
Ans: I am a Field Engineer..

Q: For real.. where do you work?
Ans: I work on Oil Rigs

Q: What do you do on the rig?
Ans: (I parade around making the damned place look pretty.. tchiew..)

Okay.. just kidding.. but seriously, I just cannot explain in sufficient words this beautiful but yet psychotic world of mine. I equally hate and love my job with a passion.

Go ahead and picture this..

I am sitting under the helideck of the drill ship at 5.30am in the morning. I am dead tired. I can’t even remember what today is or what yesterday was because I have been awake for the past 24hrs. I have been hauling stuff around the whole place for the past 3-4hrs. The job is still not yet done.. but right here.. under this helideck, I stare out into the deep blue waters of the bay of Bengal. In the not so far distance is another sister drill ship, the sister ship is flaring gas intermittently as dusk turns into dawn over the deep blue waters.. The sight is awesome.. the blend of the yellow flames merging with the setting of the sun to the east. I wish I could capture this moment and replay back to my momsie(mommy) and my pospise (daddy). Just right there infront of me is the sea level.. its so close, I could almost reach over with a bucket to get a full scoop of water ( you know Naija style) and if I am lucky, I may also fetch in one of the numerous fishes swimming around the ship. There are hundreds of them everywhere!!

The breeze is in my hair.. (I beg your pardon, the breeze is in my sweat soaked weave which has been stinking for the past week with sweat), the breeze is in my face.. I am at peace.. I am bone tired… I enjoy all this for 5 more minutes and then I drag my sore bones across the deck of the ship, over the catwalk bridge and straight to the drill floor. This is where my real objective is and not out there playing titanic in my imagination. Back to my reality, There is Oily mud allover the place. Oily mud is another ingredient that comes to drilling for Oil like butter goes with bread. The roustabouts (rig hands) are hauling metal and machinery all over the place. I negotiate my way precariously into the driller’s cabin where the driller is engrossed in manipulating the drill pipe into the hole to drill ahead further. I swear this driller guy is giving me the eye.. I see him staring at me so much.. and to give him credit.. the guy has a cute thing going on.. this is when his mouth is closed. The moment he opens his mouth.. chai.. I want to pass out from the crookedness of his dentition…(Sorry.. I can’t help it.. I have a fetish for teeth!!)

Where did I stop off… Yah.. my job now is to calibrate some of our sensors and track the depth. I call up my unit from the driller’s cabin and my fellow crew member answers.. she is shouting over the line asking what took me so long? “We need to calibrate the sensors now!” I quickly give some instructions to the driller and the calibration is done. Now I have to track the depth. This is one very important part of our role.. I wait painstakingly as the drill pipe works its way slowly into the formation.. The geology people say the current formation is Shale.. hence the slow rate of penetration. I see the reference! There goes my depth! I drag my sore body up to our work unit.. there is more work to be done.. the folks sitting 800kms away in the clean comfort of their offices are asking why I did not cross my ‘I’s’ or dot my ‘T’s’ God knows I am about to kill someone.. I look at my fellow crew mate.. she is equally tired.. Tiredness is written allover our faces.. but we cant go to sleep.. we need to wait for the third guy to get out of bed to come and relieve us.. I try to look on the better side, this is a good day at work.. at least everything is going well.. the formation data is being monitored properly in real-time and there are no signal problems. It could have been worse..a whole lot worse. Things could have just stopped working.. NO DATA!! In my line of business.. NO DATA ACQUISITION means you may as well just jump into the sea and kill yourself before the whole world gets you. Everyone is going to be after your arse and to make matters worse.. the only people who can help you are the remaining two members of your crew who are probably as clueless as you are regarding a solution.. But what you will get is a lot of shit!! The clients on the rig is after your arse.. the boss in town is ringing your phone.. everyone is ringing you and the phone is about to explode.. you cannot concentrate.. you have to make a decision (in your sleepless delirious state).. ask the driller to stop drilling so that you at least don’t loose data while trying to get your act together.. Infact.. this scenario is too painful to describe.. I don’t want to invite karma into my life so I will halt any further descriptions.

But even after typing all of this, I still don’t feel as though I am doing justice to this description.. This is not the whole story.. Sometimes after a very long day or days.. I question myself, what am I doing here? Really? How did I find myself here? And most importantly, why am I still staying here? I could have easily packed my bags and called it a day a long time ago. I start to realize what a very tough individual I am for not giving up. If someone had showed me a video of the now me 18months ago, I would have laughed in their faces.. Suffering and smiling at work has really become me! Its totally awesome..

So finally, its time for me to go get some rest.. But I first stop in the galley where there is an abundance of food awaiting me.. No wonder they feed us well out here. The menu strongly contests with that of your average 4star hotel! Hehehe. I quickly eat up and take one last look into the deep blue.. with the breeze in my hair ;-) Now it’s all comes back to me.. the reason why I am here. The reason why I haven’t quit and the reason why I will not quit. It is very simple, yet so complicated.. a very few people have the guts to do what I do. To say its different is putting it mildly. If THIS does not break me.. I cannot imagine what else could! This whole experience in India! So, taking comfort in this realization, I slowly pry myself from staring into abyss and drag my fatigued bones into the upper bunk of my two-man room.. The tides have gone up in the past 48hrs and I didn’t even notice.. you can even feel the slight rocking motion of the drill ship.. This swaying motion is the last thing I remember as my bunk bed slowly rocked me into a deep, dream less sleep

That which does not kill me, can only make me one helluva thick skinned survivor!

PS: The job is finished! Yay.. Just waiting now for two days to get on a chopper back to land Then the long journey cross country back to Mumbai begins..

An Indian Revelation

2008-10-08T05:06:00.000-07:00

I am back on the rigs. Discoverer 534. Remember that ‘posh’ rig I was on around June where I had my own room with cable TV and wireless internet access? Yahh.. that’s the one I’m talking about. I was really happy to hear I would be coming back here to work so I packed enough stuff to last 40days on the rig.. hehehe. That’s how much I love this rig. I would rather be here 40days than 2 days in Mumbai.. hehehe. I am also working with another girl and my guy Hash.. Lets call the girl Iti. She and Hash are both Indians and I really enjoy working with these guys. Firstly, Hash and I started with the company round about the same time and Iti must have started about 4mths before us. The ‘seniority’ dates are not that much so we are all still on a learning curve together. This time around Iti and I are both sharing a room.

Back to the gist of this post. I had the most interesting conversation with Iti a few minutes ago. This conversation as well as my meeting with some other Indians in Mumbai whom are professionals and don’t seem to be on a power trip like the people I was working with in my earlier experiences has really started to change my views about this country of peoples as well as the working dynamics.

Since Iti was also in the same position as myself only a couple of months ago, I started to share with her my previous working experiences here in India with engineers who were more senior than me. Especially working with female engineers and the way they seemed to put me down and push me around whenever we were on jobs. Iti explained to me that she also went through similar experiences when she first joined the company and though she was surprised, she didn’t find it as shocking as I did. Granted.. but why did Iti put up with this treatment and why did she not put up a fight like I always seemed to do??

Well, according to Iti, here in India while at university, a preconceived notion exists where students who are more senior believe it is their right to ‘Rag’ the less senior students. It is very common to find this in Indian universities and everyone seems to think this is acceptable. After a year or so, the less junior student becomes accepted by the senior ones but still, there is still that attitude that the less junior individual can be spoken to as they deem fit without any consequences. But why has this carried on to the work place I asked? Iti explained to me that she thinks this attitude is only prevalent within our company as she has friends who work in other companies and everyone else seems to be pretty professional and don’t ill treat new employees or ‘Rag’ them around.

We then went on to discuss why this is very common within our own work place only. The conclusion was that since our job is not very ‘white’ collar, we go around in uniforms(coveralls), share the same room and bathroom with your work mates, we are together mostly 24hrs a day for days on end in the middle of nowhere, then this juvenile attitude starts to creep in. The need for hierarchy starts to creep in Eg. You go on a job. You have a cell manager who is the first hand. This person is usually the most senior and has the most responsibility and experience. You have the second hand. This person also has some work experience and is quite competent. Lastly you have the Third hand. The third had is usually the least senior engineer on the job and is usually still a trainee with very little experience. This is very much like the setting which puts emphasis on seniority and hence, people easily slip into the habit of giving the trainee a tough time. Now, I could understand this explanation from Iti’s point of view as she did take her time to discuss with me these issues but this does not make it right in anyway, shape or from.

I am happy that I am starting to get more experience. I am very confident running a job as a second hand already and I am very happy working with Iti and Hash. These guys are really different from the other experiences which I have had. But then again, I guess the fact that we are much more level in terms of experiences kinds of brings us closer and does not foster any form of big headedness. That said, not everyone in India is out to get me!! I was really impressed with Iti’s way of thinking. She wants to experience working in other places with engineers from different backgrounds, culture and creed. She does not want to remain in India where there is a chance of slipping in and following the general norm. I have a lot of respect for this girl and I am wishing her the best.

So back to me..me.. me..

I am fine. I have been partying allover the place in Mumbai and there are more international staff joining the company. I have a new flat mate. She is French-Italian. My old flat mate, Angel got transferred back to Indonesia so I have been alone in the apartment for sometime now. There was a festival a few days before I came to the rig and true to Indian form; we had a day off work. I took all the newbies for a day out in Mumbai. We went on the very crowded Indian trains and then took a ferry to the Elephanta caves. From there I took them to some nice Deli place. The food was totally awesome!! I have been partying, partying, partying!! I am glad I got sent to the rig. I have been spending too much money on Sunday morning brunches and alcohol in 5 star hotels!! This is why being in town is not good for me at all. I spend too much, drink too much and eat too much. Talk about an idle mind!!

Can you guys imagine I’ve been in Mumbai 1yr already!! OMG!! I cannot believe it myself. I remember stepping off the plane at Chatrapatti Shrivaji International Airport a year ago and feeling scared to the bones. I am definitely not the same girl who stepped off that plane. I have seen things and been to places people only read of and I have felt emotions which people do not wish on their enemies. I have really survived! I am very grateful for this experience and for the chance of meeting people whom will forever leave an impression on me both positively and negatively.

So how do I celebrate my first year anniversary in India? I will go out and gaze into the ocean. Watch the beautiful sun setting into the Bay of Bengal!! I saw it yesterday and it was totally awesome!! This time I will take pictures.

Diu.. once again

2008-09-20T07:17:00.001-07:00

My boss decided to send me off to the rig about 5 days ago. Same rig as the last time. I was to travel to Diu and then to the rig the day after my arrival. On getting to Mumbai airport, you would not believe whom I “bumped” into! One of those aristos (old men) who were trying to toast me during my last trip to the rig.. Immediately he saw me, the flirting started. Starting with checking in together, getting coffee at the airport and constant chit-chat…. I was already cringing. We then boarded the plane to Diu for a rather dramatic flight. As the Plane left Mumbai for the 45mins flight to Diu, the flight crew did a good job of serving the curry meal which I really wasn’t feeling. About 30 mins into the flight, Captain makes an announcement:

“Due to bad weather in Diu, we will be slightly delayed and then we will make an attempt to land in Diu or return to Mumbai”

I was thinking, alright, no problem.. did you people not check with the weather in Diu before taking off from Mumbai? Or you guys checked and then the weather miraculously changed in the space of 30mins since we have been in the air?

I was trying not to fret o. I am usually a calm passenger but this time I was just a little bit distressed. 1hr after take off, we are still in the air. I could barely make out the island of Diu below me in thick fog. I was praying that this captain will not attempt any heroic or acrobatic landings. Me I am totally happy going back to Mumbai no problem!

The pilot tried to land the plane. We were so close to the runway.. and then next thing I know, the plane’s downward movement sharply turned into an upward one.. we were going back up! Shit! I was sitting in my seat for a good 20mins before the captains voice came up again..

“ladies and gentlemen….we will try another attempt at Diu and if unsuccessful, we will go back to Bombay… we actually tried once but it was unsuccessful. (are you kidding me? Like no one on the plane would notice the sharp change in direction of the plane.. tchiew) and BTW.. must we try again?

So.. the plane goes around the island.. for some reason which I really cannot explain, the fog seemed to have cleared a little since the last attempt, and the captain landed the plane! Come and see relief! I was so friggin happy! I just wanted to get off the plane.

My “toaster” invited me to come see the island of diu with him and then dinner.. I was so not interested.. this guy is supposed to be one of the people I report to so me I am not playing with fire..plus I have already seen the island of diu.. boring!

After two days on the rig, I was sent back to Diu. The job is apparently over. I am sitting here in the hotel bored out of my skull.. I slept a total of 18hrs! and mosquitoes are starting to torment me while sitting on this computer. I need to go to the AC’d safety of my room.. will blog again later.. so many blogs I need to catch up on.. laters!

Mumabi Rocks!

2008-09-14T10:06:00.000-07:00

WARNING: This post is being written under the influence of 8 glasses of Martini.. hehehe.. yeah.. I said 8 glasses of Martini. I was going for 10 but man.. I just could not go past the 8^th one.

So I finally got my ass out of India and landed in UK. Things were going pretty smoothly until my passport got stuck in the home office. My boss originally planned for me to go on 2 weeks vacation. After I still didn’t get my passport back at the end of week two, I started to fret, worry and write the home office. Then I also had to talk to my boss who had no prior knowledge of me being “without” passport. I thank God the guy is understanding! 2 weeks slowly rolled into three weeks with no passport. By then, I had already made serious prayer requests to God and changed my flight tickets twice! (with additional fees o!) Anyways.. I got my passport back on 4^th Sept and was on a flight back to Mumbai on 5^th Sept. I was too glad to be on that flight. With this credit crunch in the UK and people fearing for their jobs.. the last thing I want to do is anything that would get me fired and back on the job market.. hehehe..

So, I got back to Mumbai early Saturday morning. I went straight to my girl, Dee’s place in Bandra. Dee’s end is where the party at! I made her hair the very same day I got back into town and the following day was some dinner thing at the Grand Hyatt hotel. I am really starting to loose track. All those drinks and stuff.. lol.. I had fun sha. The following Monday, I went back to the office.. I could see people looking at me like “WTF has she done to her hair now!” I really love shocking people at work with my hair. Hehehe. From the different colored braids to my afro to the sleek weaves.. lol.. These people are totally confused. Even my boss had to comment! Lol! I totally loved it.

Being back at the office, I finally realized that I may be spending more time in India that I initially bargained for. These guys have no plans to transfer me O! I have been here 11months already and my employment visa is being renewed tomorrow. I guess this is the cue/wake up call which I need to finally convince me that I would be here for at least another year! Ye! Mo ti daran! (Laments: I am in big trouble) Here are a few things which I need to do to make my life here more permanent:

1.) Buy my own personal bed covers: For the past year, I have been sleeping on the sheets which the apartment service company provided with the apartment. They are white sheets which look like the ones you get in hotels/hospitals. I have since been deceiving myself that I don’t need to get my personal one as I would not be here in India long enough. I guess I was wrong

2.) Change my sim card from pre-paid to post paid: I have been on the Pay as you go system for the past 11 months. I have been saying I don’t need to “commit” to post paid as I would be leaving India soon. I guess the joke is on me right now eh?

3.) Bedroom furniture: I need to put things up on my bedroom wall. Really. This room just looks.. well.. bland.. there is nothing here that is “ME” Its very impersonal so I need to start making myself at home.. India is going to be my home for the next couple of months at the most

4.) Stop complaining about India (Full Stop)

Ahhh.. it feels good letting that out.

Ohh.. I found out I was missing my debit card last Sunday when I got back to India. I was totally freaking out! I couldn’t figure out if I left it in Manchester airport or Abu-Dhabi airport or even in Bandra during the trips out. I had to cancel the debit card with the bank to be on the safe side with onle 600rs in my pocket and no food in my house. I have had to borrow money from my Egyptian sweet heart. Hmm.. I don tire o. I don’t even feel happy at all. I don’t feel right without my debit card safe in my purse.

My boss tells me I am going back to the rig in two days. Same rig I was on last time near DIU. Phew.. I am happy about this don’t get me wrong. More experience, more exposure, more blah blah blah.. hehehe.

This past weekend, I went to Dee’s place again. We went to see the Symphony Orchestra of India perform. Since I don’t know anything about the Orchestra, I was already sleeping half way through the performance.. what for do? I gotta try to be “posh” every now and then now! Lol..

Back to the 8 glasses of Martini. Today was Brunch Buffet at the Grand Hyatt hotel. All you can eat and drink for just under 50 Dollars. Where I come from, we call this “Awoof!” Come and see your girl in action. There is nothing like drinking in the afternoon. You get back home and you have enough time to sleep it off before the following morning.. hehehe. It was really nice and I am still very tipsy.. I need to go “sleep it off”

Random: OMG.. I need to start going back to the gym or doing some form of exercise.. I have GAINED!! Vacation and Brunches and Dinners out are not doing me any favours at all!

Its good to be back up here.. thanks guys.. for hollering and kicking my ass back into blogville..

Lotta love

PS: Please forgive the typos.. I am still very much under the influence..

Out of India - Peace of Mind

2008-08-18T15:44:00.000-07:00

Hehehe….I am lauging like someone who just downed half a bottle of blossom hill white wine. I wonder why? Guess its no surprise because I have just downed half a bottle of blossom hill white wine.. lol..

18 days or so since my last update. SUE ME IF YOU CAN CATCH ME!! He he he

Where did I leave off during my DIU chronicles? Oh aye.. I got called to the rig and was there for a few more days before my boss pulled me back out to land. I got to Mumbai on a Wednesday and then I was already booked on a flight for Manchester via Abudhabi on Saturday evening. 8/8/08.. OLYMPICS MANIA!!.. I was at a house party with a bunch of Chinese people who were totally ecstatic that china was hosting the Olympics. I must say that china did really put up a show which centuries would talk about. The lighting of the Olympic flame was sooo crouching tiger-hidden dragon-like… totally awesome. I can soo see the contingent from the London 2012 planning committee sitting in a corner with their hands in their heads wondering how the heck they are going to pull off the opening ceremony for London 2012. I guess they need to get to work and start recruiting all unemployed teenage mothers who are going to do the baby-pram-march at the beginning of the show LOL.. now I am being really cheeky.

I left Mumbai a day after the start of the Olympics. Flying through abu-dhabi was a disastrous decision. For starters, the airport is just too small for the number of people passing through it. The Duty free shopping is pitiful compared to Dubai and I could not even find a chair to sit.. tchiew.. totally disastrous. I finally got to Manchester after a 7hrs flight only to find the lady at immigration being a total bitch. Wetin I do this woman? (what have I done to this woman) I have a valid visa and all and she’s treating me like I have committed an offence? She’s telling me to be applying for visitor visa and all? She berra get off my case. She needs to be targeting the people who are trying to smuggle themselves into the country with fake passports and stuff instead of molesting me with my very valid Nigerian passport/visa despite the notorious reputation which my country men currently hold the world over. Anyways.. God will take charge of this situation.. just because I hold green passport does not immediately incriminate me. I am as legit as my grandfathers proverbs!

I got home early Sunday morning..(home being Manchester…) it’s popsise’s (daddy’s) birthday and popsie so happens to be in Manchester at the same time. We had fun celebrating daddy’s birthday before he flew out to Naija(Nigeria). My lil but not so lil brother flew out to Naija shortly after this and its only me left in the Queen’s own country.

I decided to visit Glasgow to see my friend Kenny. I’ve been here a couple of days now and its totally awesome. I am starting to feel like I am a very boring person now. Notting hill carnival is fast approaching and I will be there next weekend.. Monseiur Raffik just told me he is in Frrrance and he will be in London. I am looking forward to meeting my brother from another mother! He has been a true inspiration

OHH>> and my boss confirmed my promotion.. Hallelujah to the heavens.. I am so happy.. after all the torture and ass licking/wiping I had to do on the rig.. God dey sha!

I am wondering whats up with me these days.. I’ve been bicycle riding around Manchester like a true british scally…never mind my Nigerian roots. Really.. You see me in my track bottoms with hood biking it like no man’s business.. I am totally loving it at the moment..People look and think..”that babe is looking totally gangsta rough! Lol” I am trying to fade into the background as much as possible. I used to love the lime light but being in india with all the constant eyes being trained on me.. I really don’t want to be a part of that kind of attention anymore (thank you very much) I return to India in a few days. Deep down inside.. I am scared of what the future holds. My heart skips a beat whenever I think about the challenges in India and I start to doubt if I can handle it. I think I am being scarred emotionally in that place. But I think I have to do what I have to do.. no?

I finally went to church yesterday for the first time in almost a whole year! I was so at peace with myself. Really, I was really touched by the worshiping and I think I will be buying some Christian CD’s before I return to India. I need something spiritual to keep me going otherwise I may just loose my mind. This post is starting to take on a random angle so I will just stop right here. I am wishing everyone out there their hearts true desires….

Lots of love

Tolantino

DIU - An Indian Getaway

2008-07-30T21:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I decided to get into my tourist mode. My team on the rig had sent me an email that I would not be going to the rig yesterday and they even encouraged me to enjoy DIU. So, the taxi guy came to pick me up. He took me to almost all the touristy places in DIU. The only thing I could not do was the watersports. According to the driver, the seas were still too rough to attempt anything there. Boo-hoo.. It took about 3 hrs to see all the sights. The driver informed me that the island of DIU is only just 18kms long with a popluation of 45,000 people. Formerly colonized by the Portuguese, about half the population hold portugues passports and are living outside of india. As we drove down some streets.. you could literally see houses that had been padlocked shut because no one lives there any more.. So here are some pictures..

Bendy @ The Fort ( Just a little something I do every now and again)

I Made a friend.. (Ok.. i asked him to take my pics)

Woman Hacking coconuts open

The Portuguese built the DIU fort around the 1600's i think. It was used for imprisoning people. It kind of reminds me of alcatraz

Met some of the locals taking a walk

DIU Government Hospital. This is the only hospital in DIU. Blogsville, please pray for me that I don't ever get sick while I am out here.. It looks like once you go inside.. you aint ever coming back out

"I found God in DIU"

St. Peters Church. The designs are absolutely fantastic. Built by the Portuguese as well..and its still standing.. and functioning DIU has got one of the most amazing coast lines I have seen so far in India... I hear Goa is also nice.. but then..I still need to see Goa
Some Indian Temple which opens right into the sea.. The place resemble "Mammy Water" temple

I Just got a call from #. # is one of my crew members on the rig. He says my name is on the chopper manifest. I should be leaving DIU this afternoon for the rig. But then again.. anything can happen.. I may or may not go.. I need to make some telephone calls to see which way swings..

Pictures – DIU - Rig

2008-07-29T21:37:00.000-07:00

So I finally managed to find a cyber cafe at the hotel where I am staying now (Rhadika Beach Hotel) Its not a bad place actually. Rumour has it that I will be back the rig for tomorrow. I have booked a taxi to take me around Diu for the day. Its the least i can do now that the skies have decided to stop weeping. I hope you enjoy the pictures.

Diu Airpot et Helibase

Still looking fresh from my very recent vacation, wait till you see what the rig does to you
The beach right in front of the airport. The sand is rather unusua in the sense that it's rather rocky
My new friends from the beach. They wanted to know where I "come" from and what i was doing in Diu.
The Beautiful "Hotel Kohinoor"
Kohinoor is the name of what was once the world's biggest diamond. It was unearthed here in India in the state of Andrah Pradesh. The British "took" this diamond and it later became part of the crown jewels

Still Looking and feeling fresh at work

And then the skies opened

So it rained.. and raied.. and rained.. you can barely see the sea in the backgroud..

Out cold in the rain and soiled with mud

Experiencing Indian Monsoon Offshore

2008-07-29T21:24:00.000-07:00

As I sat in the chopper, with heavy rain falling from the skies, zero visibility, the chopper was leaking badly; I started to wonder if this was not such a bad time to re-dedicate my life to Jesus Christ. When you find yourself in very precarious situations, you tend to start to think on the spiritual side (just incase you end up on the other side much sooner than you anticipated) My Reebok running pants was soaked. I couldn’t even move position to avoid the water leaking into the cockpit as I was closely packed with 9 other men who are being sent back to town from the rig in very bad Indian monsoon. Now I know how all those people caught out in storms really feel, I was literally riding a “storm”

So I started to sing Christian hymns under my breadth.. the chopper is lurching from side to side and every one is soaked. I just closed my eyes.. whatever will happen will surely happen. After 30 minutes of the most harrowing experience of my very young life, we were back on ground. I am convinced I will quit my job if they send me offshore again. But like I always say: “The human mind is a strong tower built on unshakable rock” One minute you are convinced that this is the end of life as we know it and then the next minute, you are over it and calling your boss to find out when the next chopper will be flying back to the rig. Yea, this was your girl Tolantino.

After the chopper was cancelled on Friday due to the atrocious weather conditions in the Mumbai Offshore Basin, they put my name on the next chopper heading out on Sunday morning. In the interim, I managed to bag myself a promise of “free-launch” in town from the Geologist on site. One very old Filipino man like that who is old enough to be my father. Me I no dey do those kind runs with Aristos (old men). Come Sunday morning, my name is not on the outgoing manifest. They are saying that I can stay for now. Out tools are still not yet out of the hole so I am still very happy with the situation. I must see BHA Laydown! So, I came back to start my shift in the early hours on Monday morning, The weather is not looking very promising today. Horizontal rain with windspeed enough to blow your standard 10yr old kid into the ocean. I have to think before I take any steps. God forbid bad thing happening to me out here.

So, our tools are finally coming out of the hole. We had to put the tools down in serious heavy rain. The deck of the rig was like a mini-pool. By now, I was already soaked to my knickers even though I had a raincoat on. My safety boots is filled with water and I have to keep “emptying” my boot of water every now a then. Downloading the tool took us about 9 hours since the bloody thing was refusing to “communicate” with our computers. We tried everything! By the time the “winch” of a thing decided to respond, I was already working without sleep for more than 24hrs. I was soaked to my “Bra and Pant” I was even shivering and my brain was about to go on lockdown mode. I was the one who asked for “BHA-LAYDOWN” Well.. I am definitely getting one heck of a lay down right now.

Everything was processed quickly and we sent the data to town. Our working unit was also flooded with water and mud. We had to do a quick mini clean up before we went to take a break. I quickly had a hot shower to save myself from the possibilities of pneumonia and jumped into bed around 2am on Tuesday morning. Now, we sleep in bunk beds and my CM sleeps in my ower bunk. So she goes like:
“Tolantino.. you will have to wake up to send the morning reports by 7am”
I’m thinking that this CM of mine has “evil spirit” If I need to send off reports by 7am, this leaves me with only 5 hrs of sleep ( you will know by now that I totally love my sleep)
ME: “CM.. can it not wait till 10am.. I really need to get some sleep”
CM: Blah blah blah …. It needs to go on time.. more blah blah blahs.. “
( I quickly set my alarm for 7 am and closed my eyes.. I will not waste my precious little hours of sleep chatting with the heffer)

7am on Tuesday: I get up to prepare the morning reports. Its still raining heavily outside.. I am supposed to be on the chopper out again today but I am convinced there will be no choppers today. Just like there wasn’t any yesterday. This weather is too bad.

Around 10.30am, there is an announcement for all outgoing personnel to come for a chopper briefing. I ignored this since no one has informed me for certain that my name is on the outgoing manifest. Around 11am, my name is allover the intercom. Apparently, the chopper leaves in 30mins and I am still sitting in my coveralls with my stuff allover the accommodation area and I am supposed to be on the chopper!

I quickly dashed to put all my stuff in the bag. I didn’t even wash! I just packed. By the time I arrived in the “upper recreation room”, I could already hear the deep thud of the chopper blades above on the helideck. Well.. I guess this pilot decided to play Rambo and brave the Monsoon rains afterall!

I got into the chopper in the most harrowing ride described above.

On getting to Diu, the weather was still not letting up. Twas raining like it was going out of fashion. I arrived in Hotel Rhadika which is like the second best hotel here in Diu. I must hand it to them This hotel has a beach right in front of it but of course I couldn’t go to have a better look. Its still raining badly outside. It rained like that the whole day and night.

I spoke to my boss. He will contact me as soon as he hears of when the client has given the go ahead to send me back to the rig. It may be tomorrow, or it may even be a couple of days. But regardless, I am happy to be away from the confined spaces of the rig… for now.

Best Laid Plans

2008-07-25T04:21:00.001-07:00

Last I wrote, I was not sure about Actinia or Tamil Nadu. Just a few minutes till end of my working day on 16th July .. I received a work email containing my plane ticket for Diu. Diu is an island in Gujarat state and it’s the stopover from where I would board the chopper to Actinia. Thank God I don’t really have to pack anything special for the rig.. just some baggy tops and baggy pants.. enough personal items to last me 40days and I am good to go. So, I went home, got my stuff ready, I was going to have a long lie in till late morning the following day since my plane for Diu does not leave till 1pm. That was when I got a call from my “cell manager” at around 11pm. (Cell manager is the person who is in charge of the job when we are on the rig) The conversation goes something like this:

CM: “Tola.. were you sleeping already”
Me: “No.. I was just about to sleep”
CM:”Ahh.. very good.. Tola.. I need you to go to the office tomorrow morning before going to the airport. We need some supplies for the job we are going for”
(Right now.. am thinking.. WTF!! I have to wake up at 6am to get the 7am bus to the office.. get all the supplies approved by my manager who does not get to the office till 9am.. then I need to make arrangements to leave from the office to the airport.. all this while.. I am slugging my rig bag around wit me…tchiew! This babe no go kill me.. I don tire already and I never even reach rig..)
Me: “Sure.. no problem.. what are the things we need..”
CM: “We need some gloves.. 5 packets..boot CD’s for the MCMP machine.. Kopr Kote.. Geolograph Pulley.. (she sha listed a whole load of things for me)

By now.. I was already frowning.. I will be packing excess luggage before I leave Mumbai.. But just for the sake of peace and because I know from experience that all these things are truly essential for us to run the job.. I quickly closed my eyes and slept enough to get to the office on the 7am bus. I managed to get all the items approved and packaged in the extra rig bag I was carrying. Mr Santosh organized a car to take me to the airport but first, we would have to stop at another clients office to drop some stuff. The place was at “ Eleven High” (Just imagine this being said with thick Indian accent). Who the fuck calls a place eleven high? Tchiew. We sha reached this eleven high of a place and dropped the stuff off. By now, it was already 11am and there was some serious traffic with one hour to go till the airport. I sha managed to make it to the airport on time. Only to get to the baggage scan for them to find the two tubs of Kopr Kote in my check-luggage. Now they started asking me for “material manifest” they didn’t want to check in the stuff cos they were afraid that the thing would be flammable and my flight leaves in 45 mins. Abge make una drop this shit. I really don’t think my manager will be happy with me missing two flights in the space of two months. I gave them the kopr kote for them to confisticate or use to butter their bread for breakfast. Which ever one they want to do.

One hour and a double landing later, I was in Diu airport. This airport was amazing not because of the physical appearance but for the fact that when the plane was landing, I was actually thinking we were going to land on the sea.There is a beach right in front of the airport and it’s the first thing you see of Diu. There was a client rep waiting for us. He quickly informed us there was only room for one on the chopper. The CM was going and I would be spending a night in Diu. No problems.. I quickly ran out of the airport with my everly present camera to take some pictures of the beach. I even made some friends who were very happy to see a black person with weird hair running around the beach with a camera.. Lol..

The hotel where I spent the night wasn’t bad at all.. I can’t even pronounce the name of the hotel but its supposed to be one of the best hotels around and it cost lest than 60 USD for the night. By the following day, I’d made it onto the chopper and hence my breakout job began.

Day one was uneventful, our tools were yet to arrive, we had to do some minor Rig-up but no big deal. Then by the second day when we got the tools, we had to prepare the tools, program, load batteries and every sort of shit associated with preparing the tools. Being the least senior of the crew, I was left with all the shitty jobs. You know when you have a very junior person in the office and that person was left to do shit work-indian style? Now that’s what I’m talking about. My shift is supposed to be like 12hrs but I ended up doing 14-15hrs shifts.. I was always bone tired.. I only had enough time to sleep, eat and bathe.

So we are about to hit the target for the first section of the well. We have drilld about 1200m of the well and I am hearing there will be a week’s break before we have to start drilling the second section. Just this morning around 11am when I was about to finish my shift, the company rep called to say that someone from our company would have to go back to Diu and wait as standby. The rig only has a capacity for 100 people and they need more space. Being the least senior person in the crew.. I was asked to get ready for the chopper in 3hrs. I didn’t really want to leave because I needed to be here for when the tools were brought back to the surface. There are certain things I need to do/see in order to accomplish the competencies I need for my promotion. But who gives a damn about all that shit? Apparently not my manager! When its time to discuss business, nobody takes your development into consideration.. I quickly showered.. ate.. got ready.. even did my helicopter briefing. That was when this ABAMI (abnormal) weather decided to start being a bitch. Heavy rains started all of a sudden, less than 10ft visibility. Shuwo! This is a very serious matter o! It seems like the gods of BHA-laydown are indeed on my side. (BHA-Laydown is what we say when our tools are coming back to the surface of the hole) Tomorrow being a Saturday, the heli-base in Diu is closed and the next chopper will not be coming out till Sunday. The radio officer is still insisting that there will be a chopper.. until the announcement came.. the chopper had to turn around on its way here due to bad weather.. I quickly went to unpack my stuff..

Next thing I know.. I’m in my bed and the radio operator is making an announcement for my name.. He’s telling me not to unpack my bags because the chopper may still be coming out later this evening.. did I offend someone? Its been almost 18hrs already and I still haven’t had any sleep.. So.. I told him that I will keep my bags ready, and I will have some sleep.. if the chopper is coming.. they send someone to come and wake me up.. Finish..

About 30 minutes later, my name is allover the intercom. “Tolantino.. Please contact the radio room” Say wetin happen again o! These people no go gree me rest? I don tire for all dem misinterpretation/misinformation. If I don’t leave this rig today, I will be working from 12 midnight till 12 noon tomorrow.. and its already 4pm and I still haven’t slept! Tchiew! I am totally irritated at this point. So I contacted the radio room only to hear that the chopper has now been cancelled and the next chopper will be on Sunday (two days from now) By that time, our tools will be on surface, and I would have achieved all the competencies I need for my promotion. I am not pissed off that I am staying.. I am only pissed off because I could have been sleeping for the past 4.5hrs and now I only have 7.5hrs before my shift starts.. But either way.. I am just very thankful.. things have a way of working out for the best.. So, all I need to do is publish this post on this mega-slow internet connection, eat some dinner/lunch and get some sleep. Yea, I also need to now re-unpack my bags.. tchiew!

Actinia or Tamil Nadu

2008-07-15T01:35:00.000-07:00

So, your girl turned up at the office on Monday and found nothing spectacular on ground. My boss is taking a day off and the person sitting in for him wants to send me to some rigsite in Tamil Nadu state in about 5 days.. I really don’t have five days to sit in the base o! Tamil Nadu is pretty close to the boarder with Sri Lanka so I guess this will be another geographical experience for me. Hijo is even on the same job and he called to inform me that he will be patiently awaiting my arrival (that boy is soo unserious!). I really wanted to do something so I decided to go and hassle the technicians to see if I can hang on to the hem of their coveralls while I observe them at work.. There was no joy either! Man.. it seems like activity is all but dead here o! May the Lawd have mercy. But on a better note, I think those technicians are starting to warm up to me. I go there so many times just to see what is going on that they have started smiling at me when I approach them.. lol (the power of persistence sha!)

I came to office this morning and cornered my boss.. he told me that he’s gonna be sending me to a rig called Actinia. Shey you guys remember Actinia now? I did a post called Feet Don Touch Ground where I described it was my rig exposure job. I was there for xmas and new year right before going to Abu Dhabi. I remember the job was so tough.. I even almost contemplated taking a swim in the ocean! Lol.. Okay.. maybe I didn’t. But I am not the same person who went on actinia. The training I have had has since prepared me for a comeback. Plus I have been to some jobs after this and I am very much confident.

So, I may be going off tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.. This has to be my promotion job.. I can feel it in my bones.. I need to go study some.. the day is almost over..

A Lot can happen in 3 weeks (Part 2)

2008-07-13T13:11:00.000-07:00

PLS READ PART 1 BEFORE READING PART 2

Lol.. see me breaking down gist like I am writing nollywood script. Ok.. so here is part two. After my Colaba runs during the weekend, I was already fretting over my promotion. I should have had it by now but things are not going to plan. My boss is telling me there are a lot of things I ought to know which I don’t know and this is frustrating for me because I don’t feel like I am getting enough exposure here. But that aside, on that fateful Wednesday morning, I arrived at the office as normal. I was studying, I wanted to please my boss and I was also running some general errands in the office. That was how Mr R called me and my flatmate. Shuwo! What have we done wrong? Mr R then opened his computer. He showed me that I have 7 days off and about 21 vacation days pending. He said that I need to take those days off ASAP. He even suggested that I go back to my apartment for the rest of the day as he does not want to see me in the office. I asked if I could come to the office the following day, Mr R said to take 7 days off. Say what! Take 7 days off? Na beans? Me I cannot siddon in inida for 7 whole days. I will go mental. All of a sudden.. I had a revelation.. what if I could go to London and Manchester? Afterall, I haven’t seen my people on that side since I left in October. I quickly checked with travel desk.. kia kia they booked me on BA leaving Mumbai for that evening.. I wanted to faint.. I was overcome with excitement. One minute I was studying OIL CD in the office and next thing I am on a plane heading for Heathrow. I cannot even begin to describe the joy when my people saw me. It was a really good surprise. No sooner had I landed that I’d started wakaing around london. Infact.. I waka to the point that my trainers snapped. Oxford circus, west end.. come and see sales.. shopping.. everything dey there..I was in a dream o.

Posing on the Jubilee Line

Sharp sharp.. I headed out to Manchester to see my people. Some places will never change sha! I reach Manchester and I was welcomed with cold freezing rain. Thank God I took my Monsoon umbrella along with me from Mumbai. I sha did all the doables in Manchester and then headed back to London.. I waka some more. I met with friends from school whom I haven’t seen since boarding school days.. friends form Uni who are now working in London and also, I hooked up with aloted, a fellow blogger. It was awesome sha cos she is one of the people with whom I share names and we both have something else in common.. she was also an adult braces wearer..

Rocking the Natural Look in Manchester(Village Girl)

Thugging around the street on my brother's bike. Its true what they say.. you can never really forget how to ride a bicycle. I taught myself to ride at 15 and I haven't ridden since then. But three days ago, I got on the bike and I was riding with my eyes closed after falling off twice!

So.. yesterday evening.. I was back at Heathrow terminal 4 (A plane was heading for Mumbai and it had my name written on it). On reaching Mumbai early hours of Sunday.. I didn’t feel up for the 1.5hrs drive from the airport to my place in Thane. Instead, I stopped in Bandra at Dee’s place(with luggage,dutyfree shopping and all). My people, its so nice to have someone with whom you share cultural ties in Diaspora o.. speakless of a place like India. We hugged like long lost sisters..(even tho I was away less than two weeks.. lol) I filled her in on the gist.. apparently.. the guys in Bandra are having Brunch and Shiri was cooking.. fantastic.. I left my suitcase, grabbed one bottle of duty free red wine and went to join the party. It was totally awesome meeting new people there that Shiri had invited.. I found myself discussing US politics and economic downturn with another American girl.. Heck what do I know about that shit.. Kuch nahi (nothing) But it was fantastic fun. Around 6pm.. I went back to Dee’s and took my suitcase and then set out with Dee’s driver for the long-traffic-jammed-drive to thane. I was just slipping in and out of consciousness in the car. The sleep was gripping me tight.. I didn’t get home till 8pm.. So here I am on my bed. Its already 1.36am O! and I am still waking up for 6am.. lol.. the things I do to myself sha. This blog must be todate by force because I could get to the office and my boss can spin me 360 degrees again. All this has happened to me in the space of 3 weeks! Unbelievable.. and if I have surely learnt a lesson here.. to never ever ever ever procrastinate updating my blog. I will be going to the office tomorrow.. I wonder what the following weeks will have in store for me..

A Lot can happen in 3 weeks (part 1)

2008-07-13T12:30:00.000-07:00

Rule number one of blogger.. “Never ever procrastinate updating your blog” This is the number one blogger sin because it will surely come back to bite you in the back side. See me as example, the last time I wrote on this blog, I promised you guys an update and three weeks later, its 00:49am, I am jet lagged, I have to be up for 6am, and I am forcing myself to update my blog.

You will not believe the number of things that can happen in three weeks my people.

To continue from where I left off on the last post, My boss let me off the hook Well.. I am assuming that he has done so since he has not mentioned anything to me till date. I went on to the rig. This rig was a massive drill ship sitting in water depth of about 1350m. My people that is some deep water I tell you. I was there for 10 days and being the only “lady” on board, they spoilt me to my own room. It was actually a two sleeper room with two satellites TV’s and wireless internet connection. I did not even miss land at all. For all I cared, I could have stayed on that rig for 60days and counting. But it was hard work, I was climbing no less that 1000 steps a day and I was starting to feel some muscles in my buttocks which I never knew existed. Make no mistakes; this was not a life of luxury. It was a life of hard work, heavy lifting, working ungodly hours and I barely had time to use the luxury of the internet and the cable in the room. The only thing I had time for when I wasn’t working was Eat and Sleep. Full stop

The Drill Ship

Tired and Haggard

After 10 days, I was sent back to land. I went to the office, met up with my Brazillian-Ghanaian friend (Dee) Dee lived in Nigeria for a long time and she totally understands the Nigerian way. She be my naija sister from another country. That weekend was really nice. I went to her place on Friday evening after work. We went to some Latino party (it was crap I must say) and then we went to some market called Colaba. This place is amazing for cheap ass bags (fake) bootleg DVD’s and like my friend Dee said.. “enough oyibo’s wey come discover dem souls for India” I laughed my head off. Anyways.. we bought bootleg Sex and the City (the movie) DVD only to get home and find that its some sicko horror movie that’s been burnt to the CD. Incredible India I tell you…During the day out.. my boss even called to to pack my bags for Kakinada (again) I was already calculating how I will make my way back to my apartment from Colaba when my boss called back to say that I will not be going anymore. I can tell you in those 15mins, I was already dreaming of all the Kakinada sqitoes that would have feasted on my very Janded blood.

Watch out for part two..

See Drama!

2008-06-21T01:56:00.000-07:00

Tolantino.. you are full of Drama! And this was me thinking that there was no more drama in my life. Can you believe that I missed my fight to Kakinada on Saturday morning? yeah.. the driver was supposed to come and pick me up at 4am and guess what time your girl got out of bed? 8.30am! Hmmm...where do I even start from? OK.. from the very beginning..so here goes..Back tracking to Thursday

So.. one of my friends was celebrating birthday on thursday night. He lives at the other end of town which takes about 2 hours in traffic. I haven't partied in two months so I decided to take my overnight stuff to their place as they had a spare bedroom.. I was going to stay there till Saturday before i go back to my flat and prepare for the rig. BTW, manager informed me that I was going to the rig on the following Monday. He told me this on Weds so I had done my calculation.. there was enough time for a party.

Thursday night.. party was awesome.. it was fantastic! I mean.. your babe must have downed about one and a half bottle of red wine and my head was already spinning.. i didn't sleep till about 3 am. I was so totally effed up by the time i woke up the following morning at 7am. i managed to get to my office but i was totally useless. I was half sober when I went to talk to my manager that early Friday morning regarding the preparations for my rig hitch. So.. my manger goes like this..

"Tola.. you and Engineer XXX will be going to Kakinada first thing tomorrow morning..."
(it was like a slap in the face strong enough to get me all sobered up)
So .. this was me.. with face smiling, all wasted.. half sobered up..so i ask the question..
"what time is the flight??"
My boss goes like:
"6am in the morning"
Me.. in my head i was thinking
"shit"
All my stuff was still at my friends place.. almost 2hrs drive away. I had packed enough stuff to last a week... toiletries i use on a daily basis, everything.. shit.. how the heck do I have enough time to go to his end of town.. get my stuff.. make it back to my flat and get enough sleep.. and then wake up at 3am for the 4am pick up to the airport.. Dilemma o!

So i finished work at 4.30am.. went to my friends office.. he was too busy.. he was all holed up at work. So i went to stay at another of his friends place.. waiting for him to finish work so that i could meet him up at his place to get my stuff..All this time.. I was half conscious.. I was still being affected by the alcohol and the lack of sleep..By the time I got to get my stuff at my friends place.. it was already around 9.30pm... Taxi driver did not arrive till 11pm. I reached my flat at 12midnight.. I quickly packed my bags and jumped into bed at 1am for a quick nap.. I could have sworn that I set my alarm.. But little did i know...

Next thing.. i wake up.. feeling slightly well rested.. this can't be right.. I should be feeling shitty after only 2 hrs sleep right? I looked for my phone under my pillow which is the usually place i keep it at night.. my phone ain't there.. OMG.. I look at my wrist watch.. 8.30am.. Hail Mary Full Of Grace! I started to panic.. I say where the heck is my phone.. I found it in the bathroom.. with 12missed calls.. The driver called.. the administrator in charge of booking tickets called.. the engineer i was supposed to travel with called.. all of them had done so numerous times.There were text messages as well.. SHIT.. I thought my life was over o! I mean.. I was supposed to be doing a calibration there in KKD before going off to the rig...

So i called the administrator who basically told me there was nothing he could do for me.. I had to report myself first to my boss before he even talks to me.. SHIT! Report myself to my boss? So i called my boss.. he was still sleeping that early on a Saturday.. He calmly tells me to ask administrator to book another flight for me for later in the day, if no availability.. then get the first flight tomorrow..

I was still panicking.. can i not get a train to KKD? Nope.. it takes 26hrs by train from Mumbai and the plane next morning will probably get there before the train. Can i not fly another route? I dint even mind paying for the ticket? NOPE! Its rainy season and the administrator will not let me do that. So.. I had 24hrs to wait.. to be sober and think about my stupidity. Well.. I stayed home all day. Hijo called me up and he made some jokes to make me feel better. I swear I was about to jump out of my 24th floor window. Anyways..I didn't. I got on the 6am flight on Sunday to Kakinada and I made it to the rig on Monday.. Phew! I am still waiting for my boss to call me up and pump me with shit for missing my flight. He hasn't done so yet.. but I can just feel him waiting to do just that. I feel soo guilt ridden and everyone is asking me what happened. How do I open my mouth to tell them..

More gist on my rig experience will follow.. I just thought I would get this off my chest for now...

Quick Update - Off to Kakinada

2008-06-13T03:58:00.000-07:00

I just learnt that I am going to Kakinada tomorrow. Remember Kakinad? Well.. I made a lengthy post about that town when I was shipped there in December for 9 days before going for my first offshore job.

The plan is for me to go to Kakinada tomorrow, calibrate some tools, and then catch the chopper to the rig on Monday. I will be going fully prepared with all my mosquitoe repellants and baggy clothes for the rig. I cant type much as I need to go get ready. I will be putting up a post whenever time permits over the next couple of days or weeks or months

A selfless Ambition

2008-06-10T16:22:00.000-07:00

Seeing as I’ve been reading a lot of politically themed blogs lately, I have chosen to share with bolgsville a dream which I have always nurtured.

During my very recent trip to Nigeria. I was really appalled by the conditions of the roads in FESTAC where I grew up. I mean, the roads are so bad.. its like almost unreal. My parents were one of the first families to move into FESTAC shortly after FESTAC 77’ and when I was born, FESTAC was like the VI/Lekki of the Mainland back in the days. We had playground all fitted with equipments and swings in every close. Everything was just Ideal. Now they are all gone. Everything.. just gone! I could not understand how things went so bad for Festac town. It actually truly angered me seeing the callousness of the Local Government and how they have stood by and done nothing to repair the roads in Festac. What further incensed me was the fact that the Local Govt. seat is headquartered in Festac town and the road leading to this office is also in a horrible condition. I am pretty certain that the Local Govt. Chairman will take this same road to his office every day and he does not even have the decency to do something about it. This really added fuel to my rage

Anyhow, on my last day before leaving for the airport, I had a very interesting conversation with my mum and dad. I was discussing how I remembered Festac as a child and what it is now. I spoke about the roads and then I announced to my folks that I wanted to become an activist of some sorts. I spoke about recruiting youths who would stage peaceful protests/sit-ins at the gate of the Local Govt. headquarters. We would lobby for better roads and I would not mind sitting out there with my picket fence/placard for as long as is necessary until people start to take notice and something is actually done.

My parents looked at me with what I thought was incredulity. It may have been admiration or pity but I really can’t tell. They had some things to say. My mother went first.

“Tolantino my dear, in as much as your intentions are noble and selfless, the truth is that you will not get the support you are thinking you will get”

I argued with my mother. How can people fail to support me? After all, I am sacrificing myself, trying to make all of our lives better. It was at this point that my father interrupted the conversation and I don’t think I will ever in my life forget my father’s words:

“Tolantino, just outside that Local Govt. office is a main road which is mostly plied by commercial busses going to Mile2 as well as private cars. This is the same road which is in an abysmal state. Lets assume that you managed to get a group of friends who are brave enough to go with you to stage your campaign and for some reason or the other, you guys manage to stray onto this main road and disrupt traffic due to no fault of yours, the bus drivers and the road users whom you are campaigning for will come down on you like a pile of rubbish. They will shout out curses at you for obstructing the road. They would not even mind that your cause is for the betterment of the whole town because for them, in that very moment, you are hindering them from getting on with their daily lives”

This was all I needed to hear to keep my mouth shut. I didn’t argue with daddy because I knew that what he said was probably true.

What I realized from my fathers statement is that we Nigerians are not the type that are willing to sacrifice ourselves for the greater good. We just want to get on with the hustle and flow of life. We live for the day/moment in a manner which is very selfish and don’t even think about the impact of what our daily activity will have say 2 years down the line. Take global warming for example. The polar ice caps are melting and the world is in danger of freezing/melting over.. what are we Nigerians doing about it? Nothing of course because we just DO NOT CARE. It is not in our nature to care about such things.

This attitude is why we have politicians who don’t give a toss about all the promises they made before going to power. It’s almost like WE the people are not interested in holding them accountable. We just want to get on with our lives.. After all, we Nigerians are known to be hustlers.. we can survive anything.. right?

Until this selfish attitude/way of thinking is reversed, and the masses fully throw their weight behind the candidate who is willing to sacrifice, showing support and admiration as well as giving praise and appreciation for acts of selflessness rather than ridicule, then Nigeria may just foreverly be known as the Staggering Giant of Africa who always showed so much promise.. but never quite made it to the finishing line.

Regardless, my dream is to still become an activist for the cause of my people. I believe that this is where my true calling lies.

Niger Delta: Awon boys made the news again.. with same picture

2008-06-09T09:15:00.000-07:00

The world media can be very annoying o! Seriously. They just make these reports that can be so boring to read that I don’t even bother opening them anymore. Maybe I will start using Aljazeera English as my only source of world news from now on.

I am an avid follower of the African news section on www.news.bbc.uk. I have not failed to notice that over the past six months or so that the Niger-Delta region of Nigeria has not made an appearance on the headline page. I knew it wouldn’t last long though so I was well prepared when I logged on this evening to find the headline:

Nigeria oil militants attack boat

First thing I thought was “Stale Gist”

The next thing I thought was.. These people are very foolish o! Whenever any of these foreign media writes anything about the Niger-Delta militants, it seems as though they only have two pictures of the ‘said’ militants in their archive.

There is the one of the militant guys on the boat weilding guns and there is another one of a masked guy with bulging muscles wielding a gun.

I am starting to think that they probably got some guys to pose for these pictures as these seem to be the only ones they have on file. This reminds me of the controversial report by the now shamed Jeff Coinage of past CNN fame. In his report, he tracked some Niger Delta Militants and their captives. The integrity of his report was questioned form different angles. The then information minister, Ojo Madueke refuted his claims and the rumor was that the well respected Mr Koinage actually paid people to pose as militants and then made the report. Long story short, Naija government has vehemently denied that those footages were true and they took up the issue with CNN back then. Talk about being desperate for a story. The famous Jeff has since been fired by CNN amidst several allegations that were made about this comings and goings. Very Shady Guy.

So back to the pictures in question that has irked me today, why do these reporters keep parading only these two pictures of the Niger Delta Militants? How far with them? If they are going to talk about our people, then they may as well update the picture. That one picture I see all the time does not even make me want to read the rest of the story. Even Mr Osama Bin laden sef dey update his videos every 6 months or so!

Finally got my quirks together

2008-06-03T12:05:00.000-07:00

Yess o! Tolantino is BACK! I came off the rig about a week ago. I have spent the last seven days enjoying the feel of my apartment, kitchen, my bed and appreciating not being on the rig. Lol! It feels really good to be back. The human mind is truly awesome. It has the ability of overcoming experiences and shoving it to a compartment of the brain where everything that happened has a magical way of being insignificant. You quickly start to look forward to your next experience and the vicious cycle just continues. Lol.. To God be the glory my people

While I was in my self-induced blog-exile, I was multiple tagged. So I guess I have to confess. The only thing is that this blog is not anonymous so I will not be sharing any nasty dirry secrets.. My momma and poppa might just be reading.

1.) Whenever I snore while sleeping, I usually hear the sound (in my sleep) and hence quickly re-adjust my sleeping position. Even I don’t know how I do it. I know I’m supposed to be sleeping but these ears of mine seem to have a life of their own. I am a very light sleeper which takes me to my second quirk:

2.) I sleep with a frown on my face and I wake up with a frown. Lol! This is not a very pretty sight. Due to the fact that I am always semi conscious when I sleep, I tend to be irritated by any little sound I hear. E.g my flatmate’s mobile phone ringing in her room, the neighbor’s door bell amongst a host of other things. I know these things will disturb me when I set my head on my pillow so I am already pissed by the time I go off to sleep. When my sleep is eventually disturbed, I wake up with an even bigger frown. I should seriously invest in some heavy duty ear plugs..

3.) I have a massive scar on my right leg from my thigh to the lower leg. Wait till you hear how I got the scar… the five claws of a wild monkey! (I am not lying) I was attacked at the age of 3 in my own father’s house in Lagos by a wild monkey. The monkey blessed me with this scar I proudly wear. I hardly even notice its there anymore.

4.) I keep my hair afro natural because I strongly and firmly believe that if the good lord has blessed the other races with nice silky hair and they are able to wear their God given natural hair, then the black man should also be able to do the same without the need to suffer under the intense pain of soda filled chemicals which are used to burn our scalps and destroy the composition of our hair. Right from childhood, we are made to feel as though our hair is “Bad” and the long straight silky hair is “good”. I choose to blame the media and all these other hair companies. The other races have millions of products to keep their hair nice, shiny and straight. Why don’t these same companies come up with ideas on how to keep the afro hair ‘gorgeous, shiny and kinky”. Phew! I really do feel strongly about this but at the end of the day.. to each his own

5.) I am assuming everyone here knows how to eat tangerines… except me. I chew on them, suck out the juice but then cannot swallow the insides.. I just cant bring myself to do it! Eww..

6.) I am currently crushing on what could possible be the nicest mannered male on the surface of this earth. He is the perfect gentleman and oh…. Wait for the best part.. “I don’t think he has a clue!” (sniff sniff)I don’t know if this is a quirk but heck.. I couldn’t come up with something better.

So there you have it..I have given you your quirks so make una agree me rest.

I feel like jumping on a plane to go shopping in the UK. Its summer! UK is the home of the most fashionable clothing items in the universe and I need to go find out what the latest trends are for the 08’ summer. But I’m of course not going to jump on a plane. Instead, I will sit in Mumbai, be a good girl and keep dreaming of all the shopping that I could have done.

Signing out,

Tolantino

2008-05-22T23:40:00.000-07:00

People of Blogsville, I wanna say thank you all for the time you have taken to stop by, read my rants and even post msgs asking after my well being. May the good lord remember you as well.. he he he.. Me thinks I’m starting to get all spiritual..

The past twenty one days have been really tiring. I have pushed myself; bones in my body have hurt. Even on the days when I don’t do any physical labor, merely waking up and donning coveralls and safety boots for 12 straight hours, 7 days a week is enough to make my body weary. My daily routine is pretty much military-style.

4.45am – Rise and Shine

5.30am – Ready for pick up

7.00am – arrive @ rigsite

7.00pm - depart rigsite

9.00pm – Arrive @ hotel

10.00pm – Bed time

The cycle is 7 days a week.. I have had about two days break so far and instead of resting, your waka-dugbe friend has legged the whole city. Sightseeing, shopping and just doing about everything else but resting. Definitely no time for blogsville. I have fully immersed myself into this routine and it probably won’t make a difference to me if they keep me here for another 20 days.

As per work colleagues, dat one na anoda tory all to geda. I have fought mental, physical and psychological battles during my time but nothing in my past ever prepared me for the working bias/prejudice I have so far encountered in India. Thank God for boarding school days where you fiercely defend yourself and your own, I for don quit tail tail.. I am not going to be intimidated, segregated or even antagonized by anyone without a fight. I will kick, scratch and bite all the way.. lol.. I have become harsh o.. this is what this place has done to me. Everyone wanna boss you around. Even trainees wanna boss trainees around. The one that really gets to me is when your colleague wants to take credit for your work in broad daylight. Its like everything here is one big competition and Mr A wanna be better than Mr B. This is some tiring exercise of which I do not have a care to participate. I no owe anybody rent and no be dem dey pay my salary sef! Anyways, you all be rest assured that yours truly will foreverly hold her own without a doubt.

So this brings me back to my toilet palaver on the rig. For the first seven days, I totally held it until I got back to the hotel. It was particularly hard during the journey back when the car goes over bumps and comes back down with a thud. Lol.. God is wonderful.. No accidental encounter.

Week two arrived and another portable toilet arrived on the rig. This one has a lock and key from the outside which was given to only “special” people on the rig. My crew has one and all the other small small oga’s on the rig too have their own. The usage is strictly limited to Key holders only. Hallelujah for God’s mercies in my life. This was how the Lord sent me an angel in the form of a portable rigsite toilet. Who says the Lord does not answer prayers?

The job is nearing an end. I should be going back to Mumbai in no less than two days but of course I said the same about 10 days ago and this was when all our troubles with operations really started.10 days later and I am still on site. Abeg make una pray for me. I need to get out of coveralls. I will first remove this rasta hairdo, book a full day at the spa, pedicure, manicure and facial. Then I will go to my dentist and have my braces adjusted. Happy days are almost here again!

End Note: That which does not kill me, will only make me stronger.. Please believe

Rig Life...

2008-05-06T17:48:00.001-07:00

Aint too bad afterall…

When my manager told me I was going to a Land Rig for my first post school job. I was literally expecting the worst. I had heard so many stories about the bed bugs and the bad food and water. Your babe was freaking out on the inside. I don’t mind working in the field but what really freaks me out are the things like mosquitoes, bed bugs, wild monkeys, and all manner of wild animals which may be in the area. So you must understand that I packed my bags with great trepidation. One of my greatest comforts was that I was going on this job with Angel. You must remember angel my Indonesian flat mate.

So we arrived at the airport in Barodar on Saturday. We were already getting weird looks. Two foreign chicks in an obscure place. There was a car waiting to pick us up. On getting to the hotel, I was totally stunned at the quality of the place. They got us a double room to share which was absolutely fine with me. Myself and Angel have been flatmates for months now and we totally get each other. Plus, we are the only two non Hindi speakers in the crew. Even if the babe did not like me, she has no other friend but me (and vice versa) So, we both would be doing ourselves a great favor by getting on.
Hotel room

I got a call from the cell manager. I will be working the night shift while Angel will be working on the day shift. I guess its gonna be too much to have the two of us on the same shift. The work site is about 90 mins drive from the hotel. We needed to get some extra supplies so we went to the biggest mall in the city, Varodar Central. I was and still am impressed. The mall is absolutely awesome. Even better than some of the ones I had been to in Mumbai. And this was me saying I would not be spending a dime on this tour. God knows I need to get back to that mall cos I have already eyed some nice dresses.Vadodara Central

I hooked up with the rest of my crew at 5pm for the 90 minutes drive to the rig. The rig itself aint too bad at all. The workers are all trying their best. My biggest problem here is the state of the toilets. The thing is like one of those pit latrines we used to have in boarding school and it is not well kept at all. Initially, there were no locks on the door and the window was transparent. I quickly complained to the engineer incharge. There is no way I will be entering that place. Funny enough, before my shift was over, the engineer had arranged for the windows to be covered and a lock to be installed. I was well impressed. These guys are not used to having females work with them on the rigs so they are all trying their best to please me. Our VSAT did not work for the first two days. No Internet ke? I was already praying to the God of VSAT to magically realign the satellite dish to a position where there will be signal. We eventually called for an engineer to come fix the problem. Can I get an Amen in the house please.

The Rig Structure

I have managed 5 – 12 hrs shifts already and I still don’t piss during my shifts.. Lol.. I keep strong till I return to the hotel. Myself and Angel are playing this sick game.. we “keep it” till the end of our shift cos we cant bare to use the pit toilets on the site. I know it aint funny so I don’t know why I am laughing at the moment. I think angel is gonnna break first!!.

As you can see..I've been working very hard

One of the weird things I have noticed is that the local hands on the site have recently graduated from staring at me to actually sticking their cameras in my face and repeatedly taking pictures. I was just standing there on the rig floor and next thing I hear, a roustabout is clicking away on his camera. I kind of smiled in that polite manner not wanting to make a scene. Next thing I know.. Not so young man had his camera under my nose. I was really pissed off by then. Its one thing you taking my picture and me pretending like I didn’t see you. Another thing is for you to be taking my picture like am some kind of remnant from the planet Mars. I reported the guy to my cell manager who told him and his mates off in Hindi.Tcheiw.. I will show them Warri craze next time they try that rubbish. My shift is already over(6am). Its already daylight. The pick up car will soon be here any moment and I am looking forward to my nice warm bed at the Hotel Revival.. ohh.. and also taking a piss!. Which reminds me.. How come all these hotels have funny names? Remember the infamous “Hotel Cosy” Now.. I’m at “Revival Lords Hotel” I wonder where they are gonna put us after we finish this job?? I am too tired to think of any catchy names. I want to send a shout out to everyone who was wishing me well on my field visit. Sisto, Solomonsdell and you all know yourselves.. Much love!

Halelujah.. Jab at last

2008-05-02T10:14:00.000-07:00

Well its about time I started earning my pay anyway. I'm going to the field tomorrow. My manager says I may be there for no less than one month. Sweet! Manager confirmed the trip today and i just went to get essentials like new "Man" tee-shirts and extra extra baggy pants. You know those ones you buy dirt cheap and you don't really give a damn what ever happens to it. No way I will be taking my wardrobe with me to the field. Infact, I have very few things in my wardrobe here in Mumbai that are really worth much. I have them all securely locked away at my home in Lagos. Lol! My maid has a way of going crazy on washing clothes as well as mixing them together. Chei! One day my flatmate gave her a laundry bag filled with "all whites" The babe came back to find "all pinks" I was laughing my head off. I really don't want that to be me so you kind of get the gist.

Basic essentials have been packed. I'm kind of refreshing on my work material right now. Its been like 6 weeks since I came back from training so you can understand that my brain needs a little bit of a jump start. I wonder if i will have internet available. Jesus! Please let us have internet connection cos I dont know what I will do without it.

Getting back to my powerpoints..

In The Pursuit For The Perfect Dentition

2008-05-01T11:49:00.000-07:00

Na who get this mouth o! Make una come he-le-pu me o! Na who send me message. Where is my mouth? It surely can’t be this “iron-clad” device on my face.. the one sitting right where my “old mouth” used to be? Egbele-gbele. So I don did it right..Went to the dentist and he fixed my upper teeth with braces. I swear that my mouth is now lopsided cos I cant even chew on either side anymore. I have only been sucking on yogurt and milk shake. My flat mate who went away two days ago came back and was asking me if I’d lost weight. I cannot even dig my teeth into an apple right now which is like my favorite fruit. I have only been eating bread by just moistening it with my tongue and my tongue sef is already tired. I can’t say the letters “T” and “S” Feels like I have a lisp. Lol. This is kind of crazy you know. Friends like Hijo and Ahmed have been making fun of my new mouth. But I no send jare. I am sure I will not regret this decision. Spoke to my mom and sis about the new braces and how much it’s scratched all the insides of my lips and tongue. I only wish they were here to see it. That thought alone is already making me miss home. I have not even been back a month already. I am feeling so weird. Sitting at my desk, my face feels weird, my mouth feels weird, even this post sef seems a bit weird.

See me looking like the mother of all Efiko's with glasses and braces!

Hmm.. So I was in some serious pain the day the guy put the wires and the band in. It was like my teeth wanted to drop off my face. Thanks to the medication the doctor prescribed. I may not have been able to sleep. It didn’t feel so bad today.

I didn’t have to go to work since today is a public holiday in India (1st may) Its called Maharastra day and it’s the same thing as workers day in Nigeria. I went to see a movie today with some of my friends from work. Titled “Iron Man” and I actually liked it. The only down side was that I was not able to get my favorite caramel popcorn. Man.. this thing is for real o. I have actually put these braces in and hopefully, I will be giving blogistomy/testimony very soon regarding the power of wearing braces.

Banks Sha!

2008-04-29T20:46:00.000-07:00

Tcchew!

Don't those customer service people in banks just piss you off? On the real! To say it was free banking sef, I will be willing to condone them giving me attitude but ontop the one where they are charging me 20 pounds a month... I am willing to spit fire through the phone o.

I have a problem. They are not allowing me access to internet banking. I know its just me cos my colleagues have the same type of account and they can log in. I called them knowing fully well that I didn't have all the details to access the account on the phone. I ask for advice on what to do. The boy asked me to send fax msg with instruction. No problem. I request for them to call me back once they have received the fax. Na here wahala come start. What will I hear?

"I'm sorry mam' we are only inbound call center"

I know that this boy is lying. I used to work for a big bank and even me myself used to deliver that line. To make matters worse, his colleague called me three days ago on the same number I called him on asking me about my transactions and stuff. They have called me everywhere I went so this boy is trying to feed me BS. What have they been using my 20 pounds a month to do? How can a whole big bank like that not have outbound telephone line and I told him exactly that. Me I cannot shout. I repeated what I want from him and also stated explicitly on the fax message that I want them to call me back to confirm the issue has been resolved. I have sent the fax.. I am now waiting.. and boiling..

Yeye banks.. giving me attitude onto service I am paying for... I hate dealing with them! But then again.. one would always experience problems at one point or the other and have to call them.. rather unfortunate

What a week...

2008-04-24T07:13:00.000-07:00

Its been approximately 8 days since my last post. I really meant to post an update since so many interesting things have been happening to me but I just had to catch the flu. Yeah.. only Tolantino will be susceptible to flu in a place where the temperature is about 35degC. Thank God its sha not bird flu. You know these Asian countries have orishi-rishi for hand.
So where do I start from… I decided to join the gym at the club house just opposite my apartment block. I have to shift this “Abu-Dhabi fat”. I also get a personal trainer who is Indian. I find it difficult to understand his instructions at times but so far.. so good.

Last Saturday, one of my girls found out that Wyclef Jean will be performing at the Mumbai Hard Rock Café. We got in for about 750 Indian Rupees (dirt cheap). Wyclef was totally amazing. And you wouldn’t guess what? I met the cutest Canadian guy every (wink wink) It was a truly amazing night.

Wyclef Performing "Sweetest Girl- Dollar Bill"

The following day, Pearl invited me to meet her guy friends in Bandra. Now, Bandra is like at the other end of town. We could either get a taxi (300 rupees each) or get the first class train tickets for 100 rupees each. Since we were feeling rather adventurous, we decided to get the train. This was like one of the most harrowing experiences of my life. Can anyone picture a crowded Mumbai train? May the lawd have mercy! Even the first class compartments could have been 10th class for all I cared. It was packed full with human beings and we had to change at some station before we got to our station stop (Andheri) By then, all my makeup had melted into brown sweat trickling down my neck. I don’t think I will be going near any more trains in India especially in Mumbai. Paying 300 rupees for taxi will definitely not kill me at this stage in my life.

Crowded Mumbai Platforms( I kid you not)

So we finally got to Bandra and met the guys. They were all so nice. It was like a ready-made group of friends with whom I already had a slot. They were all so nice and friendly. They all work for the same company but in different segments. Me thinks I will be going back to their place this coming weekend. There is just too much fun to be had and rumor has it that there is gonna be a party up there. Bring it on dude!

Monday, I went to see the dentist. The dentist found a cavity. I wasn’t really surprised since it’s the same tooth I used for opening all those numerous coca-cola bottles when I was a kid. If only I’d listened to my momsie when she tried to tell me off. Dentist also suggested braces. A whole fine girl like me rocking braces? I’m still thinking about it. I hope this does not reduce my market value o otherwise…! By Tuesday, I was already feeling feverish and everything went to pots from there. I went to see a doctor who pumped me full of so many pills. I’ve basically been on a high for the past two days. I could barely spell my name and I’ve just been slipping in and out of my drug induced haze. Lol. I’m much better now.. but I have definitely had better days.

Nothing Else Significant to Report (courtesy of Pink Gloves)

Mumbai Blues

2008-04-16T22:26:00.000-07:00

So your babe is now back to her host local government area a.k.a Mumbai. I left Lagos last Saturday and I was here by early Sunday morning. I’d already lost five and a half hours of the day so I was and still am really jet lagged. I got to the apartment to meet my two flat mates (Kuti and Angel). More gist about kuti later. These babes did not gree me rest while I was away. They were just sending me offline messages “Tolantino..when are you coming back?”, “Tolantino…how many weeks do you have left?” ,”Tolantino.. we miss you so much” Shuwo! Make una free me o! What do you want me to come back for? Lol.. but anyhow…. It’s actually good to be back. I miss my maid pampering me and keeping the apartment spik and span. That woman knows how to do her job abeg. As I did not get any sleep on the plane, I quickly took a quick nap. I hadn’t been sleeping for two hours when Hijo called me

Hijo: Tolantino..where are you?

Me: Huh? What do you mean.. am in Mumbai

Hijo: Yes I know you are in Mumbai but are you in the apartment

Me: Yeah.. but I just woke up

Hijo: You need to come to the club house.. Angel just got a call from Indonesia..her mother is dead

Me: Huh? Which angel? My flatmate Angel? No way.. are you kidding me

Hijo: Tolantino….you gotta come now

Man.. I was absolutely floored. Angel is my Indonesian flat mate. I call her angle because
She is so sweet, easy to get along with and I just don’t even have a single bad word to say about this girl. She only just came back from vacation to loose her mom barely a week after. We managed to arrange for her to go back home that same night and this meant another trip to the airport and back. She was really broken and this made me really sad. I just wish there was something I could do to help with the pain she must be feeling.

So.. this is it for now.. Picture my situation.. A lot of my friends have been transferred to other locations.. my manager confirmed that he does not have any transfer plans for me. This means I could be here for much longer than I had anticipated.Ohh… and the only Naija friend I have made out of my work circle is also being transferred to Nigeria. See as these people are leaving me on my own. Here are some of my pictures from the Ghana trip. I hope you guys enjoy.

Namaste!

Akwaaba... very similar to ekaabo in yoruba.. both mean the same..(welcome)

The Hotel was fantastic. I am already looking forward to my next visit

At the Makola Market. Woodin and Ankara material at prices much cheaper than lagos

At kwame nkrumah mausoleumTolu and I. We had such a ball..

A Ghanaian Escapade

2008-04-11T09:36:00.000-07:00

For those of you who have heard that Ghana is a horrible place! Nigeria is better than Ghana! You heard wrong my brothers and sisters. Yeah.. I said it.. You heard wrong. Ghana is a place that we Nigerians need to see if only for a fleeting 5 minutes and what we the people of Nigeria need to do after this is to condemn our leaders, the policy makers and anyone else who is in a position to rectify all the wrongs that has been done to our country’s image in the past 20 years. While our leaders were busy raking in billions and billions of dollars, the smart guys who run Ghana were busy planning their country and building foundations that could one day become the true giant of Africa. My people, I entered Ghana and I could have almost sworn that the plane teleported me to the streets of London. Scratch that.. London streets aint that fine. No offense to the folks who are from london. I tell you no lies! I don’t even know how to describe it. The only thing that reminded me I was only 45 minutes away from Lagos were the people hawking “Pure Water” at the traffic lights. Yeah.. I said Hawking. In Ghana, they have people who hawk such things at the traffic lights but the difference is that you will not find them hawking ridiculous things like wrist watches, lanterns, African Viagra and all those other rubbish items flooding the streets of lagos.

I got to Ghana and I was so thrilled. I was with a friend from boarding school days and we just had a ball like old times. It was truly an experience. I was there for 5 nights and during that time, I was fortunate enough to visit a night club in Accra. This is like my first night club in Africa. We were out till about 2 am when things really started happening. It was the Nigerian blood in my veins that made me security conscious enough to return to the hotel and to be quite honest with you, I don’t think anything could have happened to me if I stayed there till 7 am. Full stop.

The highlight of my trip came in the form of a nice mannered Virgin Nigeria Steward aka AW who was working on the return flight to Lagos. As soon as I entered that plane, AW was like allover me! Serious. Infact, I didn’t even say anything because I wanted to respect myself since I was on an airplane and I didn’t want anyone thinking I was a loose chick. As I was talking to my girl, Tolu who accompanied me on the trip, I had my hand on her shoulder in a friendly manner and AW happened to see this. Come and see as this boy embarrassed me! He goes like “ why are you hugging her with me right here” (tolantino aka ajala was already blushing from the faces who were starting to look at me) AW then goes further to say “you should have hugged me instead” By then I was already purple with blushing.. I sha did not say anything. My friend Tolu was making smart remarks and stuff but me I just wanted to disappear into the fuselage. It was soon snack time. AW was serving chicken pie or cake. He walks up to me and he goes like:

AW: I don’t need to ask you what you want. I will give you Muffin, raisin cake and chicken pie. (at this point AW proceeds to dump all three on my pull out tray)
Tolantino: AW.. please take this back. I really don’t want it. I was all forming and stuff. And people were starting to stare. I seriously hate unwanted attention

AW would not have it o. And meanwhile, the guy was doing all this in a very non offensive manner. I was just giggling all the way. Truth be told, I was almost enjoying it. When the guy serving the drinks walked up to us, he was serving that tiny cup you normally get on an air plane. You could either have a tiny cup of apple juice or coke or fanta or something like that. This was how AW appeared from nowhere and dumped a whole bottle of coke and one carton of Chivita apple juice on our trays.

Tolantino: Haba! You trying to bribe me or what
AW: Call it whatever.. you are taking it
Tolantino: Seriously, I don’t want these.. you can have them back

By now, another stewardess called Sola had walked up to us and I asked her to please take it.

Sola: Tolantino, please take it as a gesture from the virgin Nigeria crew

Which kind yeye gesture? Did everyone in economy not pay the same price? If you wanna show gesture, upgrade me to first class. Don’t be talking all these yeye chivita juice and muffin gesture

See me see wahala o. Anyway sha, my cabin baggage was already full and I didn’t have anywhere to put the thing

Meanwhile, the silly old man sitting beside me was already trying to toast me too.He was talking this and that and he even produced a business card and asked me if he could give me a lift home from the airport. I don’t know if it was the perfume I used that morning o. There was just too much attention.

Anyhows, we arrived in lagos safely. I got home, gisted momsie about the trip and AW and did I also mention that I only managed to carry the muffin, raisin cake and the apple juice! Lol! For real o.. I carried it home!

The following day, I was going to some hair saloon in ikeja to get my dreadlocks fixed. My momsie was taking me there and we kind of got lost already. We drove past some guy on the street and asked him for Bobby’s Signature, the guy didn’t know. The next guy I asked gave us the directions. I looked at him again and you will not believe who it was.
AW of virgin Nigeria!

Tolantino: OMG! Mommy.. its AW from virgin Nigeria
AW: (seriously blushing and stuff) OMG! Its you ( I never told him my name)
This boy was seriously cute sha
AW: Ekasan ma ( he greets my mom)

It was a bit difficult to carry on a conversation like that with momsie catching every word. I asked him again where the saloon was as I’d already forgotten what he said from my excitement. I managed to hear that he lived on that street. I said goodbye and my mom drove off..

Gosh..i dunno guys..do you think we should have exchanged numbers? If momsie was not there..am sure he would have sooo asked for my digits. What do you guys think

PS: I will be posting pictures from Ghana shortly..and my word! My time in lagos is up.. My next post will probably be from Mumbai!

Accra, Ghana

2008-04-05T08:39:00.001-07:00

So i finally got to scratch my Ghana itch. Been here two days and I can now officially boast of visiting another African nation. I badly needed this for my rep. I was starting to get embarrassed when people asked me of how many countries I've been and I can't even mention an african country other than Nigeria which does not really count anyways.

One word for Ghana..Unbelieveable.The flight was less than 45 mins from Lagos and the next thing I know, I am in a nation that could as well have been an illusion. Accra is everything that Nigeria could have been and more.I was well impressed from the airport. Nothing like area boys or rif-rafs hanging around the place. Even the officials were very professional. No ugly looking, power freaks at the immigration desk like Lagos. They actually welcomed us into the country. Na wah o.
The roads are immaculately clean with no pot holes. The planning is just awesome. I have seen
hawkers on the streets like Lagos but its still nothing like the way you see people trawling traffic
on the streets of Lagos. I of course still have more gists and pictures but Internet access is rather limited here and I will post once I return to Lagos along with pictures of course.

Please forgive my grammatical blunders. I did not have time to spell check.

Laters

Naija Latest Music and some pictures

2008-04-02T01:30:00.000-07:00

Nigerian musicians are really trying o. Forget Jay-z, Nas and all those other foreign musicians. I never understand or relate with what they sing about anyways. Our musicians make music that makes you happy (as long as you understand their language of course) Two songs driving people crazy right now are gongo so by 9ice and Lori le by x project. Not just these two but a host of others which have their own dance steps as well. I am so in love with the music scene right now. I have also included their links for your listening and viewing pleasure

I promised to post some pictures. I am already packing about 1GB of pictures already from this trip. I just had to put some of my most memorable ones.

My sister's baby..so very cute

My sis and her baby

I sighted these ripe pawpaws in our back garden

I could not resist the temptation to pluck it

Twin and I

At the very impressive shoprite in VI

At the Olabisi Onanbanjoy University Teaching Hospital, Sagamu. Ogun State.

Twin and I on campus grounds

After my "Sagamu Makeover" I love it

Come and eat asaro aka yam porridge

Am starting to feel bored again. What can I do? I'm cooking something in this brain of mine. I will let you guys know in due time

As it used to be then….what it is now (Ajala in Lagos)

2008-03-31T03:49:00.000-07:00

Shey you all already know that your Ajala is in Lagos? No shaking. After being away from home for almost two years, you start to yearn for home. You have this very splendid picture you paint in your brain of how much you miss home and your family and everything else. You know that situation was not perfect when you left home but to heck with it. The fact that it is home overrides everything else. This was the mentality your babe had before landing in Lasgidi a.k.a eko a.k.a Lagos. I had missed home die. I had lost touch with friends I made in school. I had even forgotten how to ride okada without having cold feet. Before I finished SSCE and left Naija, I was one of those babes who could not walk 100yrads speak less of 100meters. I would flag down okada and ride it like I was a cowgirl. These days.. I find myself saying.. “its not safe at all o” “what if something happens?” “Ko si Helmet” I totally hate this mentality I have developed even though I know they are all rational thoughts. I am such a chicken now. I see myself feeling almost like an outsider. Is it because I have grown and I now know better or because I have just been away too long. Ajala! You need to update o!

For my Lagos runs, I got home to find that my area had been emptied of faces from my growing up days. All my friends were still in school or just moved out of the area. I start to see all these tiny tiny teenagers fronting and flexing. I can’t even remember seeing them in diapers. Where did these mushrooms sprout from? This was when I realized that there is a possibility of my vacation being a bit dry. I really don’t consider sitting at home with no NEPA and numerous heat as fun. Neither do I recognize driving around and visiting eateries by yourself as a fun activity. Baby had to come up with master plan which my folks aren’t exactly thrilled with. I have started to waka around Lagos. I even drove out of my area/Estate. My only prayer is that LASMA does not catch me cos I no get Naija licence. I have a British Drivers License along with the international copy to go. But knowing Naija, they will tell you that this is not valid. Egunje Sha! I want to go to Ghana for almost a week. I want to do this.. I want to do that.. I can see my mother doing numerous prayers for my safety.

So the other day, I convinced my mother that I wanted to follow my very good friend back to school, stay there for two nights before returning to Lagos. My mother was not very keen on the idea. She was telling me about the numerous people that had been “one chanced” and kidnapped. I assured momsie I was gonna be okay. I would take a cab a.k.a drop to Shagamu (Olabisi Onabanjo Univeristy Teaching Hospital) where my friend, “Twin” was studying. I sha talked her into thinking it was a good idea.. ok.. I threatened her sort of. I promised her that if she didn’t let me go.. I would not come back to Naija for future vacations..lol! Momsie tripped quick quick and signed the release forms!

For the koko of the gist.. Twin’s popsie had given us a driver to take us to Ojota motor park where we would get the “drop” As we approached Ojota, there was a bit of a hold up a.k.a “go slow” I was still wondering where the hell we were when I just heard the ra-ta-ta-ta of something which I hoped was not a gun. I paused, asked Twin if she heard what I heard. She didn’t need to reply me because the answer came back as more ra-ta-ta-tas… Gaddamnit.. Na who send me message for Lagos o! Which kin wahala be this sef? What in God’s holy name is going on? The driver was still trying to proceed in the direction of the gunshots. Next thing I know, there was like a sea of people running in our direction. Before I could say Jack Robinson.. the driver was no longer in the car. He had taken the car keys and fled! It happened so fast we didn’t even see him make the move. I was like “Twin.. lets get the hell out of this car now” This was how we made our exit from the car o and started walking/jogging in the opposite direction.

After the whole melee had died down, we returned to the car to find that the car was no longer there. Wetin happen o! Abi Awon Boys have carried the car away?. We sha kept walking ahead and this was when we saw the runaway driver with the car.. Anuofia! What happened you may ask? Well, apparently, some yahoo yahoo boy was trying to smuggle in a car with suspected contrabands and the men from the Nigerian Customs were trying to block him. The guy did not want to stop and this was how they started firing gun shots on the guy. From what we heard and please do not quote me on this, the gunshots did not enter the guy’s body. The yahoo yahoo guy was packing some serious voodoo including ajesara and the likes. He sha made away with the car and the suspected contrabands. Only in Lagos my people! Thank God no one got hit from stray bullets.

I made it to Sagamu in one piece. I had loads of fun there. I met other girls I went to school with. I even got the chance of sitting in on one of Twin’s pharmacy lectures. Of course I didn’t have a clue what was going on but I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I even came back from Shagamu with a nice hairdo. I was well impressed. I’ve been here two weeks and I’m already rocking my second hair do! Boy do I really miss naija and all the numerous people who are available for hair making. God bless Nigeria even with all the good the bad and the uglies of our society. I am still very much happy to be home.

Morale of the story for me is that the Lagos of today is not the Lagos which I grew up in. The pretty picture in my brain just almost an illusion. I remember that even during the time of babangida and abacha..electricty was even still better. With the advent of democracy, things have gotten worse in the power sector. But something deep within me tells me that Nigeria will return to its glory days during our generation and I fervently pray that this is the case.

I shall be posting some pictures in the next couple of days

UPDATE:

I am surprised to find that I still got it in me. I carried okada today no shaking and it didnt even flinch. Well.. if you think almost hugging the poor okada guy from behind is weird.. na you get palaver. The guy did not complain sha! I guess you can always take a babe out of the ghetto but you can never take the ghetto out of a babe. Full stop!

Abu-Dhabi (Final Days)

2008-03-31T02:13:00.001-07:00

Here are some pictures from the graduation dinner and my final days at "school" just before I left for Lagos. Enjoy

The last Breakfast at the splendid refectory (they fed me into a state of constant constipation)All dressed up for the final presentations. You babe never owned a skirt. I had to shop for this skirt and only God knows this is probably the only time I'll be wearing it.
Only one word.. Poser!

All dolled up and ready for the graduation dinner.... its the one with seafood sumtin sumtin..

The very happy Graduand..

After all was said and done... I had a very wonderful time.. I met a lot of wonderful people and had a lot of wonderful experiences. My prayer is that the Lord keeps us all until the next time we meet again... wherever and whenever that may be.

AUH – DBX – LOS (Ajala returns to the Motherland)

2008-03-20T08:26:00.000-07:00

So we all graduated right? To God be the glory. The graduation night was fantastic. We went to some hotel for sea food buffet dinner. Tufia! The thing was like they put crab in hot water for 30 secs then serve the thing for us to eat.. Rubbish.. thank God for the hot food corner where I quickly grabbed some roast potatoes and lasagne.

Fast forward to Friday morning. I’d already called a cab to take me to the airport for 4am. Your babe did not wake up till 3.45am when the cab driver rang me. Shuwo.. I was just too tired. The last week of school was just hell and its catching up with me.. I hurried into the shower and lugged my baggage down the lifts…The hour and a half journet to dubai was almost emotional.. I remembered the good times I had there and the good people I met. Maybe I will return but circumstances will be different then sha.
I arrived in Lagos around 2pm Friday. My sis was there to get me.. she is still as pretty as ever..We went to her place and I met my brand new nephew.. (3 months aint exactly brand new). I finally went to my parents place. I miss my folks o.. And the area don change.. all the folks I grew up with don disappear.. They will soon start asking me where my husband is..

I’ve been looking for cyber café to publish this post. Cyber café’s in festac are so not cool. Imagine sitting there for almost one hour and still not connecting to blogger? Plus I didn’t take my flash drive with me so I lost my initial post. Already here 5 days and I’m already getting pissed off. Ohh… you wanna try NEPA.. Infact.. I just dey maintain my champion.. the HEAT is HOT down here. I hear raining season will start soo (abeg hurry o)

So enough of this moaning.. Easter weekend is drawing near.. maybe I will catch some trips around here. I am looking forward to it. I berra catch some trips.. I would have tried to groove but all the stories I hear from my people about armed robbers makes me scared o.. I don’t wanna be a victim. I want to return to India in one piece..

Bring it on!

2008-03-08T23:10:00.000-08:00

“I’m so happy, I could explode”

I have always thought people who make expressions like this are just full of crap. Never in my life did I think I would be making such a comment. After 8 long weeks of grueling exams and study torture in Abu Dhabi, I finally wrote my last exam this morning. Needless to say, I passed with flying colors. I can’t even remember the number of exams I’ve written since the 13^th of January when I first arrived in Abu Dhabi. All I know is that never in my life have I had to study over such a prolonged period of time with constant assessments. Okay.. maybe I exaggerate a little. Secondary school SSCE and JAMB exams definitely takes the cookie home.

So, this phase of my career progression is complete. No doubt there will be more hurdles to cross.. more assessments to complete and more competencies to fulfill. But what the heck! I feel like I can move a mountain right now so BRING IT ON!

A trip to the Pakistani Resturant

2008-03-08T00:04:00.000-08:00

As my time here draws to an end, I start to get tired of the things I used to enjoy and the people around me. The class dynamics has really changed. The people whom I used to be friends with now seem like they are no longer interested in speaking to me. I feel people around me being really irritable and no one has got time for anyone else. I think its this place! Its getting to us! We aren’t allowed to drive, getting taxi’s can sometimes be a nightmare and still, you have to cope with the class exams and assignments. Phew! God knows I won’t be missing this part of Abu-Dhabi.

One of the things I’ve managed to accomplish is ENUF shopping. Since the airline baggage limit is only a miserable 20kg and excess baggage fees na die, I’ve had to resort to cargoing my shopping back to Lagos! Everyone in my class seems to think I’m a shopaholic! I guess I have always had the potential of becoming one.

Last night we went to some Pakistani restaurant. You probably remember my girl, Penny (from my Mumbai posts). She is being transferred to China permanently. I may never see her again. Life is truly a bitch. She is also here in Abu Dhabi for some training so we hooked up and went to some Pakistani restaurant with my class mates. The food is very much same as the Indian cuisine and it only served to remind me that I would be going back to India very soon. We decided to go do some girl bonding/gossiping at the jazz bar.

Place: Jazz Bar
I only had two glasses. All of a sudden, I started to feel really sick. I wasn’t feeling sick due to the alcohol but it was the kind of sick which makes you want to throw up. I ran to the loo and emptied all of my stomach contents. The last time I got sick like that was back in boarding school when I got malaria. Not ever has this happened to me even after various drinking sessions. Two glasses is truly nothing. We got in a taxi and I still felt like throwing up. Thank God I didn’t mess up the driver’s car. The guy would have killed me. As soon as I got to my flat I drank some water which promptly made me so sick. I swear I was just retching in the loo and I thought I was gonna die. As soon as my stomach settled down, I just crawled into bed and passed out. Thank God I didn’t wake up during the night.

Got up this morning and my throat felt like it’d been ripped apart. I even have a bit of a fever and still feel a bit sick. But since I’m one of those people that will probably carry on even when everything is breaking down inside, I called the cargo company, arranged the pick up and went to the office to finalize the documents. My 29kg of shopping is on its way to Lagos. They berra not eff up my cargo otherwise they will pay through dem noses.

I have an exam tomorrow.. scratch that.. I have two exams tomorrow. Your girl aint read nothing. Sitting here updating my blog with a headache and a bit of a temperature. I think I got some ish from that Pakistani restaurant. I now fear Indian meals o.. I cant even eat nothing as I’m afraid I will start feeling sick again. The Lord is my strength o… I berra go study.
I

29 days in a leap year

2008-02-28T22:22:00.000-08:00

I remember finding it very difficult understanding the concept of a Leap Year as a child. I could not understand why the first four Februarys would have 28 days and then every fifth February would have 29 days. I felt my primary two class teacher was trying to f&%k about with my brain. After the woman had failed me a couple of times for not answering the very question correctly, I just decided to humor her and start entering 29 days whenever the question was asked. As a grown girl, I am still confused. I think those astrological heffers are feeding us cosmic bull sh%t. Whatever sha.. I will still follow their calendar. The concept of a leap year is something to look forward to every four years just like the Olympics. I rest my case.

Yet another weekend here in Abu Dhabi and I have resolved to spend the first half of the day studying for my next exam which will be on Sunday. Oh.. did I also mention we have a written quiz on the very same day! These people will not kill me o!. Today is Friday. Yesterday we wrote a 6-hrs software-related exam and then there was another 2 hrs exam after this. I refuse to die o! I have two weeks left here and I am already thinking of my trip to Naija. Gosh do I miss home! I miss it so much that I can’t even really remember all the annoying things that make me want to leave as soon as I land. What the heck.. I guess its those annoying things that are really pulling me back.

For the main koko of today’s post. We have been banned from going to Dubai o! Remember the car incident I told you happened last week. Imagine! And there is so much for to be had in Dubai. I guess your babe will just have to softly flex muscles here in Abu Dhabi until further notice. I just thank God that my class did all the Dubai runs much earlier on in our course. Desert safari, Emirates mall, indoor skiing, IBN Battuta Mall, Burj El Arab and all the other et ce tera stuff.

Yah..I haven't forgotten my promise to post pictures of the last trip to Dubai. We went to the Wild Wadi water park. One word..Fantabulous! There were quite a few water rides but your babe got tired after the first three or four as they are all more or less the same concept. Pluse my braids was getting wet! This was when I decided to laze around in the sun and start working on my “tan”. Yeah right.. I wish! Enjoy!

Wild Wadi Wild Drop! (this is what I've chosen to call it)

A view of the Jumeirah Beach Hotel & some of Wild W adiYour Girl Tolantino feeling all summery. Meanwhile, the cold breeze wanted to finish me

Tolantino at the Naija Restaurant in Deira, Dubai. I dare you to diss me and my ogbono fingers. Another massive shout out to pink gloves who showed me this place. To Sisto, thanks for capturing me in all of my fingerlickin glory.

Love it or hate it..the Burj El Arab is everywhere. Its right in front of Wild Wadi

Mercato Mall: No trip to Dubai is complete without visiting a mall.Its like a ritual.

So, there you have it... what could possibly by my last trip to Dubai before my visa expires.. Until the next post... Peace be unto you all

Though I walk through the shadows...

2008-02-26T19:58:00.000-08:00

I was really happy this past weekend. I made it to Dubai, went to Wild Wadi and then hooked up with Pink Gloves. It was absolutely wonderful as Sisto was also with me on the trip. We talked, gisted, and then went to a Naija restaurant where your babe murdered a whole plate of Pounded Yam and Ogbono. It was fingerlicking delicious. The restaurant was located in a very weird area of Dubai called Deira(me thinks that’s how you spell it) Making our way back was hell as that is one area of town where taxis don’t like to ply. By the time the three of us had frozen our asses off for like 2 or 3 hours and the Iyan had digested, a taxi driver had mercy on our souls and stopped for us. We came back to Abu Dhabi the following day. I gotta give it too Pink Gloves, she’s a great host. There was never a dull moment.

I know I’m not doing this post any justice. I was supposed to post some very bunz pictures from my weekend but I returned to Abu Dhabi to hear that some of my friends had a car crash while in Dubai this same weekend and a girl lost her life. I can’t give too many details. Even though I didn’t know this girl who died, I know a few people in the car with her and I feel the loss like it was a friend. I cannot explain it. I’ve been really down mentally anytime I remember this incident. I can’t help but to think of her family.It was just too close to home and it further reminds me of how truly alone I and my other colleagues who have chosen the expatriate lifestyle really are. So many dangers lurking around us and I keep praying that God protects us all as we move around and that we do not fall victims to unfortunate incidents (Amen)

A Very Touristic Weekend

2008-02-17T07:28:00.001-08:00

I had a lovely weekend.. Me and waka-dugbe friends went for a walk in Abu Dhabi. We was legging it like the land was truly ours. We went somewhere (gosh.. I can’t remember.. I’m not really one for visiting historical sites). Anyways sha, the place was very beautiful. We stopped for taking pictures and then we started walking aimless around the place and taking more pictures. We couldn’t have painted a touristic picture with us slapping around with our heavy back packs slung over our sun beaten backs.

After this, we then went to the Intercontinental beach resort which was really fabulous. We laid down in bikinis enjoying the sun. I have only just realized that I have been doing more writing than posting of pictures. So here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure.

And you guys won’t believe what happened to me this morning! I actually overslept.. AGAIN! Didn’t wake up till 7:15am which meant that I’d missed the last bus to work and I had to get a Taxi.. AGAIN. I was lucky this time cos there was some other guy who was in the same shoes as me so we shared the taxi fare. I really need to fix up and start responding to my 6am alarm.

For the Love of Groove

2008-02-14T20:47:00.000-08:00

It was a last minute thing. We planned to go bowling at the Lulu mall on Wednesday with the guys from class. After this, we would then go to the Jazz bar at the Hilton hotel. As me I like to groove, I was one of the first people to sign up. The bowling was really nice. I even managed to beat some of the guys.

Fast forward to the Jazz bar. I got there and Mas R, Bros A, Oyinbo Alaye, chairman and Akata were already there. See these boys living large. They were dressed up pimping hot and were all puffing on cigars. I could tell that these boys were already high on alcohol. The live music was great. The performers were belting out nice lyrics from Jazz icons (am not really into Jazz so I couldn’t place the names). As soon as I found a seat with the guys, a tall glass of cosmopolitan and a glass of champagne was practically sitting in my lap courtesy of Bros A and Oyinbo Akata. I hadn’t even finished the first glass when Bros A blessed me with another glass of something full of alcohol. Never one to turn down a freebie, I gladly accepted. So I sat there, inhaling chairman’s cigar puffs, listening to great jazz and like 4 half empty glasses and two untouched glasses of something. I quickly remembered Olu Maintain’s Yahooze and I just smile to myself. This was definitely a very good feeling. Chairman was making some very very funny jokes. We were gossiping about the two old white ladies at the bar who are blatantly flirting with the Jazz singer. See this old mama twiddling her fingers in her hair and playing with her earrings and stuff.. it was too funny. I don’t know if I mentioned that I love chatting with chairman. We are so different but yet, we get on so easily ( I see the beginning of yet another meaningless crush). Fast forward another two hours, Miss E (one of the girls in my class) and a bunch of guys were ready to retire for the night. They asked if I wanted to share a taxi and I refused, I was having too much fun with chairman and the cool gang. I didn’t even know when they left.

After like two quick trips to the loo, I was already there o!. Lol. I mean, I knew I was intoxicated but in a very responsible manner. Akata was totally drunk. This is one guy that is always so quite in class but man he was chatting to me like we was family friends! His accent even became stronger than ever. I was laughing so hard, I swear I was gonna have muscle pull in my cheeks J

Anyways I was saying that yours truly was on a high and I was so loving it. Jazzman starts playing a very nice number and Bros A and I decided to bust some moves. It was fun sha and I was looking so fly in my newly acquired Police frames.Ok.. enough of all these effizzy. I didn’t even notice that the bar was almost empty until I overheard the guys chatting about two girls (nastily clad) sitting at the bar. Chairman felt an earthquake when one of them winked at him. Never one to let an opportunity slip past, he stepped up to this babe and started chatting to her (I see my meaningless crush coming to an untimely end). He later told me that the babe was asking if his “Girlfriend” won’t get mad that he was talking to her. By “girlfriend” the foolish Akuna-kuna was referring to me. As if to say I wouldn’t have gone to poke out the bitch’s eyes if I was with Chairman. Anyway, he got the beeyatch’s number. I can guarantee you he won’t be calling that skanky Puta (where is all this venom coming from..lol). I got a taxi back to the hotel with Bros A, Oyinbo Alaye and Chairman. I was so fagged out. I was about to pass out when I saw that Oyibo was starting to do some funny things in the car (like grabbing the driver’s radio and talking gibberish) it was so obvious that we were drunk. This was when it occurred to me that it is an offence to be openly drunk in this country. I started to fear. Abi this driver was going to show us pepper by calling the police ni? Me I don’t want to sleep in Jail here o. I hear that the last thing you want is to be imprisoned in the UAE. Enough human rights abuse. We got to the hotel only for me to find out that Oyibo was still clutching a glass of champagne. This guy will not implicate me o. I sha managed to sleep around 2am.

Friday Morning: I usually set my alarm for 6am (it used to be 5am). I’d been pressing the snooze for the past 20 mins and I didn’t even know when I pressed stop. I sha know that I was very comfortable until I opened my eyes. First thing I did was to grab my clock. May the Lord have mercy! 7am. Doesn’t the last bus for work leave at 7am. I quickly brushed my teeth and did one very assorted ‘rub n shine’ When I got down to the ground floor, I’d of course missed the last bus and I was now on my own. The receptionist was kind enough to call me a taxi.

Taxi driver arrived and I told him I was going to Al Shamkah. The guy was asking me if I know how to get there. Shuow! Is that not his job? Me I don’t know anything o! The guy called someone and spoke some Arabic and he said not to worry cos he now knows the way(you berra!). So I relaxed and he started driving.. I quickly put on my sun glasses since I just realized at this point that my head was about to split into half. The driver then started a very interesting conversation that went like this:

Driver: Where are you from?
Me: Nigeria
Driver: You know Amokachi, JJ Okocha, Kanu, e.t.c
Me: Yeah of course..
Driver: I knew you were from Africa when I saw you.. we are both from Africa!
Me: really, you from Algeria, Tunisia, Morocco, or Egypt
Driver: Egypt
Me: I have a lot of Egyptian friends.. ( I went on to tell him how much I’ve heard about Egypt)
Driver: You should come visit. I hope I will be in Egypt when you are there

I’m already thinking at this point that the guy was hitting on me. I also realized that I was seeing some scenery I’d never come across on the way to work. This guy don lost me o! I softly removed my sunglasses and put on my brand new power glasses so that I could survey the situation. So the guy started again:

Driver: You should never wear your sunglasses again
Me: why do you say so?
Driver: You have very beautiful eyes I tell you.

All this while driving? No wonder we got lost. We were circling for about 30 mins and the meter was still running. We called my work place and tried to get directions to no avail. So we sha pulled up. The driver flagged down some Emirati guy driving this very balm Lexus (By the way, Emirati’s are the REAL citizens of this country. They constitute like 10% of the population). The way the Emirati guy greeted the driver with a big handshake, it was like they were long lost family friends. I found this very warming. Once I mentioned the name of my company and showed him my ID card, the first thing he said was PETROL for ADNOC? ADNOC is like the National oil company here. So this nice man first tried to show off with locating the directions on his GPS but when this didn’t work, he jumped in his car and drove us to the site. Seeing such generosity from an Arab was absolutely amazing. I sha managed to walk into class like 1hr after the class had started. See everyone laughing as I walked in. Even the cool gang who were balling with me managed to make it on the bus and in time too. I am so liverless but I had so much fun. I had this headache for two good hours before I started to settle into my own skin. It was one long day.

Fog Over Me

2008-02-11T06:06:00.000-08:00

I’ve had a very peaceful weekend. Was supposed to go to the Emirates mall in Dubai and then the Global village but I somehow managed to oversleep and missed the bus. So I decided to go to the Abu Dhabi Mall instead. I sorted out an appointment with the optician and then went to see the movie “P.S. I Love you” at the Cinema (on my own !) but this was a very impressive movie. I recommend that you go and see it. I also went for a walk along the Cornish ( abeg don’t ask me what the Cornish is.. some body of water like that sha) So this was how I did my weekend o.. Little bit of this and that adding up to nothing really. Added one of my random pics during my walk

So for the Koko of this post, I will give you a bit of a background (FEST!) I attend a learning centre in Al Shamka 5 days a week on a 8-5pm basis. Company has organized a luxurious bus to ferry us from the accommodation to the location and the journey is about an hour long(Picture Ekene Dili Chukwu even tho I heard that those naija guys have stepped up a bit). During the morning trip yesterday, I noticed it was quite foggy, I also noticed that the cars on the road were driving with hazard lights on. ?? What ever happened to their fog lights? Anyhow, this morning, I got on the bus jejely and noticed that the driver was a new one. He was looking rather nervous with a bus full of expats.. This morning was extra-foggy. I mean, it was a thick blanket of fog up there. I swear you could barely see more than 3 feet ahead. Since I was one of the last people to get on the bus, I got a spot right behind the driver.

As the journey proceeded, I had my eyes on the driver. I noticed he was looking like he could not see anything. I could almost swear I felt the bus swerving but only just slightly. Now me I would usually have the driver to do his business while I use the 1hr on the bus as an excuse to replenish on my sleep but for some reason, I just did not feel comfortable with this tiny guy at the wheel. I found myself following his every move..heck, I could have done a better job driving that bus myself. And all those suicidal drivers on the road were not helping matters either. See people doing like 100km in less than 10% visibility! Shuow!.. I respect o.. Seems like people around here have a death wish. Na so dem go dey speed without regard. You will see some cars moving and you will fraid’ Anyway, the driver sha managed to get us to the learning centre in one piece. While waiting at the entrance for the main gates to open up, the yeye guy forgot to put the hand brakes on and the whole bus was just rolling back. Me and about five people had to shout out at him to get the brakes! Imagine o! I survived the horrible driving conditionis from the hotel only for this wan-kind-anuofia to try killing me upon reaching my destination. God no go give am chance. You bet I will not be getting on his bus again!

I have been looking at the computer too much lately. I swear I'm starting to go cross eyed. I need a break abeg!

About a year ago today..

2008-02-05T09:05:00.000-08:00

So, I am sitting in my very cold room in Abu Dhabi (yeah..you heard me right.. the temperatures here has been in the low twenties since I got here). I am sipping on a hot cup of tea with my Pashmina scarf wrapped around my neck. I definitely don’t want to leave here with an ailment acquired from constant exposure to cold weather. Apartments here don’t even come with heating! All you get is a centralized air conditioning system which is bent on making you freeze your ass off. The hotel manager is apologizing to me saying that they have never experienced such cold temperatures ever in the UAE. Like that one is part of my business.. (hisses in disgust).. Something else comes to mind right now.. Global warming truly does get around.

I am kind of feeling low at the moment. The past 5 days has been very trying.. I have been sleeping no more than 4hrs a day and it’s all starting to get to me both physically and mentally. I wrote 3 exams yesterday and spent half of today being absent minded and dozing off in class cos I was just so tired. I wonder what is going to happen to me when I have to write the exam for today’s lectures next week. I still have to study for an exam tomorrow. I am tired jare! I don’t even feel any motivation to study anything. My brain is about as impenetrable as an igneous rock formation right now. I feel a bit low. I miss home (wherever that is) I normally get these depressive thoughts when I feel tired and stressed out and I don’t have control over my situation.

Why am I so low? ( I dare not use the world ‘depressed’ before my mother visits this page) Everyone thinks I am enjoying.. I am not saying that I am suffering either but I just want folks to understand that a sister has had to give up a lot of things, been through a lot of shit to be here and being here isn’t as smooth as everyone thinks. So much has happened in a short space of time. I remember exactly a year ago today I was not even contemplating applying for this Job. I was still in Manchester (UK), struggling with the cold, our new house had just been robbed (I think there are bits and bobs of the story here), I was preparing for my final year group project which was hell, I was working part-time 16hrs a week at a Barclays bank call centre and also pulling full time at uni. My third/fourth hand car was playing up, I’d spent so much money to get it fixed (all on the credit card) and I was struggling to keep Uni and work going. Those were really dark days I tell you. Me and my hustling mate Thandi were sipping on cheap liquor and eating cheap ASDA chicken over the weekends. We were broke and things were tight. The only thing that got me going was the fact that I knew nothing else in this world was permanent except for changes. I knew my situation would change.. but I sure wasn’t thinking of it on this frequency. Ok.. enough of the manic depressive.. Talking about my part time job with the bank has just reminded me of a gist I want to give you guys. I will gist you about my darling Thandi in another post.

Here goes the gist.. During this time when I was going through a rough time with work and uni, I’d been staying at the university labs until around 3-4am in the morning all in the name of the final year group project. Then I would come home for a quick nap, be back at uni for the 9am meeting and be on my way to the bank’s call centre to start work at 12 noon or thereabouts. On this fateful morning, I was driving to Uni at around 8.30am after staying up till around 5am. I was so friggin tired. I mean, it even hurt to blink cos my eyes were so heavy. Then for some funny reason, I just closed my eyes while at the wheel for like 3 seconds too long. I wasn’t even aware that I was doing this but I can tell you that I remember that the feeling was a very good one. The next thing I know, I felt my car veering towards the left and I opened my eyes in time to avert the car swerving onto the pavement with a young girl standing at the bus stop with a buggy.( You know how underage girls in Manchester love to have babies) OMG! I was so shaken that I didn’t even know when tears started to come out of my eyes. I had come this close to almost killing someone and possibly myself. I quickly pulled up on the side of the road and at that point, all my pent up anger and stress came up like an overwhelming flood and I just started weeping in the car. I could barley drive myself to Uni that morning and even had to do the usually hustle for a free parking spot.

I got to Uni, did my business and then went to work. When I got to work, I quickly went to my boss’s boss and told her of what happened to me. I can sometimes feign the dramatic diva who can almost pull anything off, I put in some waterworks for full effect. I explained to her that I feel as though I was going to loose my mind and that this morning’s occurrence is going to break me. You know the kind of tears I am talking about? The ones where you got mucous coming out of your nose and mixing with the tears streaming down your face.. now thats what am talking about. You know that UK people don’t like to hear you are having a mental thing going on with you especially when its work related.. lol The woman gave me a month off work to sort myself out. I have never even thought of how close I came that day until now while I am typing my story in Microsoft word. Thinking about this suddenly makes me feel good. The lord surely has a purpose for me.. (Not that I am a spiritual person but I do feel so spiritual right now). Taking this job offer, going to India, I’m sure that I will one day refer back to this post when it all starts to fall into place. I feel good right now.. I’d better go and study some more presentation slides so that I don’t go and gbaburu (mess up) the exam tomorrow. My ass isn’t ready to be kicked out yet!

PS: For anyone reading this post, I would like to implore you not to fear for my sanity. I do go through these episodes once in a while but trust yours truly to pull herself back together. This is another epistle like post.. God of Africa! My life is in your hands!

Dubai - Ajala's Paradise

2008-01-27T22:45:00.000-08:00

I want to start this post by making a request to Baba God … I know I have to be grateful at every point in time.. but My lord and my God.. when I come to this world in another life… You definitely have to strategically re-locate/ reincarnate me back as an Emirate Citizen (as long as the Oil Wealth is still very much here) why? You may ask.. my gist will fill in the blanks

This past weekend, our darling Cindy coordinated a trip to Dubai. My brothers and sisters in blogsphere, I can definitely tell you that this past Friday was the second most exciting day of my life (the top on my list is the desert safari day) The ride to Dubai was really good.. a lot of chatting and mingling on the bus. As we entered Dubai, come and see buildings.. I mean tall, exotic looking buildings. They were everywhere… you could feel the petrol-dollars everywhere. There were also so many more buildings being constructed.. the thought that this city is still continually booming makes me see dollar signs everywhere. After getting lost a couple of times, the first stop was at the Ibn Battuta Mall.

The IBN Battuta Mall

My people make una come and see something o.. The mall was built with themes from India (definitely posher than the real thing), Egypt, China,e.t.c. We only had two hours here and while wandering around.. I found a Mac Cosmetics. Now, I know that since I left Naija very young.. I missed the cosmetic-mania blitz that is currently holding Nigerian females hostage. So I decided to ask the Mac babe to give me a makeover.. I was so impressed with the result that I bought everything she put on my face.. I was definitely on a Kamikaze level. Time was up too soon.. I think I will be planning my own independent trip to Dubai and will be incurring some serious damage to my bank account when I return to this mall.

The next stop was the world famous, world only 7 star hotel. This wonder of a hotel is known as the Burj El Arab. Gaddamn.. You people need to come and see architecture! This place was on another level. The only crazy thing is that they did not allow us past the heavily manned gates.. You have to pay $200 to enter and you even have to go on a waiting list to pay this money. I have better things to do with $200 o!.. we had to be contented with taking pictures from the gates.. The amazing thing that happened here was that me and my Nigerian flat mate (a.k.a sisto) were like the only black girls in this sea of tourists. I need not mention that we was looking really fab. People must have thought we were celebrities or something that they started asking us to take pictures with them. No problem.. me and Sisto was posing from left, right and centre. Like Sisto said, if we was real celebrities.. we probably would have been on the other side of the gates..living it up inside the Burj El Arab.. (maybe in my next life sha)

Since they would not let us into the grounds.. we moved on to the beach which has a beautiful view of the Burj El Arab. This was where I truly appreciated the architecture involved in accomplishing such a marvelous feat. Chei.. this hotel actually has its own Heli-Pad and we were lucky enough to see a Helicopter landing on it.. I wonder who was on that chopper. So we started again.. pictures pictures.. ohh.. by the way.. my battery had already run out by now.. my job was now to start sticking my face in front of everyone’s camera. I had to capture the moment for sure.

Next stop.. the historical village and the Spice Souk.. This place did not really appeal to me cos there was loads of immigrants around.. I mean.. this place looked like a refugee entry point and it felt like being back in India and you guys know how much love I got for India. People were really staring at us.. I was a bit happy about this as Sisto experienced first hand the entire gist I’d been giving her. She must have thought that my Indian gists were all exaggerated. Come and see eyes.. I could almost see Sisto scratching her skin cos she was so unused to this… lol! Anyhow.. I liked this place cos we were able to hire our own boat which took us across the river in true celebrity fashion. More picures.. I’m surprised that people’s batteries were still allowing them to take pictures.

After we finished, we hopped on the bus and went to the Emirates Mall.. This place was Outta this world. Infact, by now.. Babes was already too tired to talk, we had gone past Mansions, Lamborghinis, Ferrari’s, Cayennes, Hummers, any type of car in this world.. just name it.. it was there.. this place was like the Monte Carlo F1 gathering.. to God be the glory o… I hear that dem Emirates citizens get money no be small thing.. now you must understand why I want to return to this life as an Emirati as long as the oil does not finish. I did not buy much here cos I did not have the energy to walk…. I will definitely be returning to Dubai before I leave. I will be going to burn a big hole in my bank account.. I hope you guys love the pictures..

PS: I beg you guys to forgive my epistle-like post. I just cannot hold back my awe for this country.

Abu Dhabi - UAE

2008-01-23T01:13:00.000-08:00

To ignore one’s blog for so long is a crime that only people who understand my position can forgive.

Its been 20days since my last post and enough stuff has happened to me in this time. So, I got back to Mumbai in one piece. I completed all the requirements for my Abu Dhabi school and all is set for my departure. My good friends at the flat in Mumbai even had a bit of a leaving do party for me. I arrived in Abu Dhabi via Bahrain on 12th Jan. During the transit flight in Bahrain, I could feel the chill in the air. I’d always heard about how crazy-mad-hot the weather is in the middle east but I wasn’t expecting this kind of cold-chilly-gloomy weather. Anyhow, I proceeded to Abu Dhabi and the first thing I had to do was to get myself a proper winter jacket. This set be back about 60USD.

The first thing I want to say about Abu Dhabi… Absolutely Fantabulous! This place is out of this world. There is so much money here.. you can almost smell it in the air. The cars on the streets, the wonderful mansions you drive past and even right down to the grace with which the locals carry themselves.. I have been here almost two weeks and I am so in love with this place already. I sometimes have to stop myself from shining my eyes too much so that people dont start looking at me like some village girl! Anyhow, I dey try to maintain myself and enjoy as much as I can for now.

Classes started the very second day after I arrived here. My 23rd birthday was on the 16th of January and I celebrated this with all of my classmates. This is like the first birthday I have actually had time and money to celebrate in a long long time. We went to TGI Fridays for a meal and it was absolutely wonderful. The very following weekend, we all took a bus to the Desert near Dubai and we had so much fun… I actually thought that my heart was going to stop beating. I took an off-road bike on the sand dunes.. a 4x4 thrill ride, camel riding, pictures, sand boarding.. OMG.. so much fun this has to almost be a crime. I have really tired to compress this gist so as not to bore you to bits.

I am currently dieing while jacking for an exam tomorrow. All this is just too long story. The bottom line is that I wished I hadn’t stopped blogging..I have missed out on so so many things which I wanted to share… We now have plans to visit Dubai this coming weekend.. visit nice hotels and shopping malls and OMG. The shopping is soo soo cheap.. I may just be maxing out all of my savings over the next couple of weeks..

Enjoy the pictures.. I have some vidoes which aren't cooperating with my webpage.. dem no gree load o but I will keep trying

Laters

Feet Don Touch Ground

2008-01-03T07:16:00.000-08:00

The previous post ‘find me if you can’ was supposed to be a full post which I was unable to publish due to the awful internet connectivity at my location. But it kind of made sense after sometime, I was not reachable by telephone, internet was scarce.. People were indeed starting to look for me and have been dieing to hear the gist so here it is.

After staying 9 days in the infamous town of Kakinada, I finally went to a Transocean operated rig called The Actinia. The rig was a semi-submersible sitting offshore in the East Indian state Andhra Pradesh. So this was my rig exposure.. it had finally come and I was really excited. Starting with the Chopper ride to the rig, it felt like I was sitting in a box floating in the air. It was a very weird experience and I was just praying that the chopper would not fall out of the sky even though it looked as though the chopper could not come any safer. After about 40mins, we arrived at the Actinia rig. I was assigned along with my other female colleague to a room for four. We were sharing with two other guys from another company and we were the only two females out of the crew of 100. The bathroom was also shared with the four guys occupying the room next door. This would be my home for the next 16days. Just imagine trying to get dressed in such a situation! No sooner had we arrived that we started prepping for the job ahead. Once on the deck, there were so many huge equipments around. Grease everywhere and you just had to be that extra bit careful as there were more than one million things you could do wrong and you might just break your neck. This I found out the hard way when I slipped while coming down the stairs one early morning. I twisted/sprained my left shoulder and it felt like hell.

I was on the rig for xmas and new year. Now that truly sucks. I guess it would not have been as bad but I just felt so excluded from the team. My team members kept carrying on in Hindi the main language here without regard for the fact that I was the only foreigner in their midst. Talk about trying to fit in right? I almost felt as though I was doing something wrong. How can this be? After all, the working language is supposed to be English?. Maybe I should raise this topic with my manager when I get to the base. Xmas day was uneventful; I was pulling my 12hr shift from 12midnight till 12noon. The caterers on site made a special meal but still.. I missed home so much. I could barely get a turn on the telephone. The rig had only one telephone line open to its crew. It was one of those telephone lines where only one call can come in at once and only one person can make a telephone call at any time. If you pick up the phone while it is being used, you can hear the other person’s conversation. It was really weird. I did not get a turn on the phone till Boxing Day. Same thing happed for the New Year. Absolutely awful! I then started to find solace in the smoking shack.. Pls note that I did not take up SMOKING. I got really tired of asking people to talk in English when I was around the unit and I would sometimes go for a walk on the Helipad or go and talk to the very friendly brits, Americans and Singaporeans in the smoking shack. There was always something to laugh about in the smoking shack.

The work itself is not too bad once drilling starts. The only hard bit is trying to get your equipment into and out of the hole. Its dirty, slippery, tiring and excruciatingly stress filled with the client rep wanting you to be as fast as possible so that drilling can commence. There is mud everywhere and loads of lifting, screwing and stuff. I swear I must have lost a couple of pounds since I’ve been on the rig. I obviously cannot share with you guys everything that happened to me on the rig but I can surmise that I am bloody happy to be back on land. We finished the well early yesterday and we was on the next chopper out in no time. I have leant an awful lot from the people I worked with even with the language problem. There was no messing around at all and nobody tried to treat me with care cos I was a female. I see myself progressing a lot in my career and learning a lot if I do more jobs here in India. This means I will have to develop a very very THICK skin. God help me! Right now, I am in Rajahmundry waiting for the two-plane trip back to Mumbai. I never thought I would be so happy at the thought of returning to Mumbai! Off to the airport now.. laters!

Find me if you can

2007-12-18T09:09:00.000-08:00

6 Days In Kakinada and Counting

2007-12-13T19:54:00.000-08:00

I’m still in Kakinada 5 days after my last post. How can this be? I was initially supposed to be here for a two day calibration, this quickly changed as I was told to go to the rig on the third day of leaving Mumbai. This was where I finished my last post. One would think that I would on the rig by now, but this is so not the case. The story changes once again. Following instructions from above, I had to go to Rajahmundry where I would meet with the rest of the crew I would be working with on the Rig. There was no car available for the drive from the Kakinada base so the transport coordinator bought us some train tickets. Initially, I was a bit scared of going into a train in India as all I pictured was people hanging out from the sides of the trains. But I was assured that we would be booked into the pretty decent section of the train (three tiered sleeper with AC they call it).

Surprisingly, the journey was a great experience considering that even in Nigeria, I don’t think I would ever have the cause to get on a train. Took loads of pictures as well. On arrival, I met Nidih and Suby who are really cool guys. The chopper would leave Rajahmundry for the Actinia rig on the Indian East coast the following morning so we were all prepared. Around midnight, Nidih got a call from our manager who informed us that the rig is experiencing some problems and we would be delayed another 3-4days so, instead of paying for us to stay in this fancy hotel in Rajahmundry, we were sent back to Kakinada the following day and while we are waiting here for the green light, we would maybe do two more tool calibrations… pretty neat huh? Oh.. and we are staying in the company staff house which is like 100% cooler than the cosy hotel where I done battle with all the mosquito species in Kakinada.

Facny Hotel..

Also, I have completed my school entrance exam. I passed. This means I will definitely be going for the 10 week school in Abu Dhabi starting on 13th Jan. I am so looking forward to this. So right now, I am here at the base, I have been to the workshop a few times, the people here are so much nicer than the ones in Mumbai. Everyone is eager to help, and they definitely have your time. I am starting to wonder which one I prefer, Kakinada or Mumbai?

Mumbai - Hyderabad - Rajemumdry - Kakinada - Destination Unknown

2007-12-09T01:56:00.000-08:00

It’s been a rather interesting interlude since the last post. Remember me ranting about Indonesia, rig exposure, Nigerian passport, and offshore clearance for India? Well, the good news is that the Indian offshore clearance came through a few days ago which means I can get my rig exposure on any Indian offshore rig. For me, this is the best options as opposed to Indonesia where my passport IS a problem and China where the temperature is currently -14 deg Celsius. I am African, born on the equator, I hate to think what -14 will do to my system.

So, two days ago, my manager asked me to accompany some senior guys to our base in a place called Kakinada. I have heard so much about this place from other colleagues. Its like, no one wants to come here for one, getting here involves taking a flight to Hyderabad and then a light propeller craft to Rajemumdry. Secondly, the job here is grueling, you stay up till 3 am testing tools and you cannot return to Mumbai until the tool passes or you drop dead….whichever one happens first. So, I got up yesterday (Saturday) 3am for the 6am flight to Hyderabad from Mumbai. We finally made it to Rejemundry around 10.30am. Then there was the 1hr + drive to Kakinada itself.

(light aircraft, and the skies of Hyderabad)

(the approach to Rajemundry.. i managed to catch a shadow of our aircraft!)

Kakinada for me is like something you see in one of those olden day Indian movies. Animals pulling carts loaded with grass, pulling people, and what not. The good thing about Kakinada which I noticed from the get go is that the roads are 100 times better than Mumbai and you practically don’t see any slums or people living in shacks by the roadside. The air was also definitely much cleaner. Arriving at the base was quite exciting. It’s like a massive area occupying about 6 times the size of the base in Mumbai. Rumor has it that we may be moving to Kakinada. I hope my training is done in India when this happens. I really don’t fancy moving here despite all the things I mentioned earlier. For me, it will be like going back in time to the Stone Age.

We went straight to work. We were at the base till 1.30am on Sunday. The tool did pass but for some reason I don’t know, the guys say we will have to repeat the test sequence agtain. Na dem know.. Efikos

(Rajemundry Airport and some very interesting things i saw during the drive)

We then proceeded to the “hotel cozy” which would be our lodgings for the next few days. Do not be fooled by the name. I probably would not have been able to close my eyes if I hadn’t been so dog tired. When we got to the hotel, all the lights were already out. They weren’t expecting anymore guests at 1.30am. In the reception areas, I could see human forms in the dark sleeping on the hotel sofas! This was so funny. Like only in India where there is so much homelessness. As we approached reception, we saw a figure jump up from behind the reception desk. The receptionist had been sleeping on the floor! Man.. I burst out laughing. They only had three rooms available for four of us. Two of our guys had to share a room. Being the only female.. I got my own room.. the perks of being a girl in this male dominated business!
(the not so cosy 'hotel cosy)

Also, another good thing which happed to me yesterday was that my manager has arranged for me to go to the rig on Tuesday! Yay! The only non-cool thing is that the helicopter leaves from Rajemumdry airport which I just an hour drive from Kakinada and so he has asked me to stay in Kakinada until Tuesday. I will not be going back to Mumbai. This does not sit particularly well with me since I only brought underwear and clothing for only two days. I will have to go and find somewhere to acquire more stuff. Maybe later today. Its quite remarkable how quickly things change. Last post, I was so down, this post, am happy.. kind of. I will be living rough over the next couple of weeks.

This morning, I was up for 10.30am. Currently at the base and we have started testing again. If I thought this job was all about sitting in the office doing nothing.. this trip is starting to change my perception.

Hope you loved the pics.

Not so happy days... :-(

2007-12-02T21:20:00.000-08:00

Right now.. I am so full of anger and disdain for my country/nationality that I just feel like tearing my passport to pieces and burning it to hell (good riddance to bad rubbish). We Nigerians are proud to be hustlers.. we can take anything life throws at us but at times.. its just too much and enough most definitely has to be enough. The anger I am feeling right now needs an outlet which is why I have decided to vent my anger here (so you guys will just have to bear with me)

Why am I so angry?

Well.. I did say a couple of days ago that I may be going to china for my rig exposure; Indonesia too was a possibility being explored. I came into the office this morning after a nice weekend (possibly the best one yet in India) to find a request from Indonesia asking me to produce a “Drug Free Certificate” Can someone please tell me what the heck a “Drug Free Certificate” is? Apparently, Indonesia has problems with Nigerians who are known to be drug traffickers in the Asian continent and since I am a Nigerian passport holder… I have to get one of these. To make matters worse, nobody knows what this certificate is and how to obtain it. What am I supposed to do now? Even the people in Indonesia are telling me that I have to produce the document and they don’t know how to go about obtaining it.. very helpful indeed

The days are going by, I have just over a month left before I go to school and I need to get rig exposure in this time.

So again, “Great Nigeria” is trying to screw me over. The country has such a bad reputation and we the innocent, law abiding people trying to make a life, a career have to suffer for the iniquities of a very small percentage of the population.

I don’t know how I am going to get out of this one. I feel so down right now and I am just worrying about getting the rig exposure. (Takes deep breadth)

All is well…

Oh.. and I tried to call the Nigerian Consulate in India for help and guess what… the numbers listed on the internet are all obsolete.. Nice work

Happy Days..

2007-11-28T18:57:00.000-08:00

Am so happy..hooray!

You are wondering why I am happy right. Well, I just completed my OIL CD text book as well as all the required tests that came along with it. What is OIL CD? Basically, it’s a computer based learning CD which I have been studying for the past Month. It’s like the equivalent of reading Ababio’s chemistry book as well as writing tests along the way. Before you start hissing and slating me, I have to tell you it’s not easy. Mathematical calculations and many more brain draining stuff are involved. There is still much work to be done but that’s okay, I feel like I can almost handle anything right now.

Next gist is that I hear I may be going to China in the next week or so. A place called Tang Gu which is about 2hrs drive from Beijing. I have to go and get my Rig Exposure done outside India since my offshore pass is still being held up here. Am I excited? I kind of am..heck..am going to China but the only damper is that I hear the temperature is about -16 degrees Celsius at this time of the year. I left all my winter stuff in Manchester and I don’t even know where to start looking for winter stuff in India. Also, the lowest temperatures I’ve ever experienced are around -2deg Celsius so you can understand why am having mixed feelings about going out there. But hey, its me.. I think I can almost survive anything.. Just about.

A couple of days ago, my friends and I went to the Grand Hyatt hotel in Bandra. This was the hotel 50cents stayed in when he visited Bombay a couple of weeks back. We went to some club there called China House. This place was so expensive. I mean.. 20 USD for a glass of cocktail. I took one glass and mellowed all night. It would have been very easy to blow 100 USD or more on drinks but it was a really good night. We had loads of fun, nice music and we even ventured to dance on the floor. Those few hours felt like we was outside of India.

The Group..

This was where my horror story then started… right there on the dance floor (It seems like I have to disgrace myself in nice places) As I was dancing, my cheap ass shoe which I bought for a token in Malaysia snapped on me.. Imagine.. Grand Hyatt Hotel, all dressed up, shoe snaps.. I wanted to enter the ground. After consulting my friends, we concluded that I would have to make it home bare feet (no one was willing to carry me..lol). The worst thing than having your shoe snap on you in a prestigious hotel is to walk bare feet on the streets of Bombay. The streets are so dirty, dog shit, human shit, spit, wee.. you name it.. I immediately started to fear for my feet. I didn’t want to acquire any leg/feet infection. Anyhow, I made it home okay (and bare feet) and my feet is still okay.. for now

Here are some of the pictures from our night out. The group included: Eyad, Ali, Rui, William, Candecee and Me!

As if the above two pictures were not bad enough... I keep smiling for the camera..

Horn Ok Please

2007-11-21T19:50:00.000-08:00

I have been out of action for the last 10 days. With no desire whatsoever to type a single word. I have been sleeping so much, life has been terribly boring. I definitely put this down to the fact that there is nobody to hang out with outside of work. The past week, I’ve been going to bed at 8.00pm. The last time I slept at 8.00pm before India was probably when I was in primary school and my mommy forced me to sleep.

On the brighter side, money penny is returning from Malaysia tonight! Nice one! I hear that Chico is not coming back (he apparently quit the job as he couldn’t cope with India) plus I been hearing gist about him becoming and unplanned daddy! Good on him.

This morning, I met the latest addition to the team, an Omani guy fresh out of Abu Dhabi! (Welcome to hell!) I tried to help the guy out a bit by telling him whom to go to and where. I remember my first day here at the office… there was no one to help me! Infact, it was almost as if I wasn’t being expected. To make matters worse, the guys sitting around me were just looking at me.. they obviously knew I was new.. but they just preferred to glance at me every now and again and not talk to me. So, I made a solemn vow, to always talk to any new face I see.. to at least try to make them feel comfortable and not as lost as I felt during my first day here.

So for this post’s gist. I have noticed since I arrived in India that most trucks, busses or similar vehicles normally have this baffling logo written behind them “Horn Ok Please”

What the hell does it mean? I do not know. It does not make sense to me or any other expat I have spoken to. “Horn Please” is rather logical, but “Horn OK Please?” I dunno! Like so many other things in India, I have learnt to just accept it and not question it since it seems as if this is the way its been done since “longtime back”

I somehow feel very happy today, maybe I will go to a nice restaurant this evening for a very nice meal with or without company!

Until the next post.

Afro Hair In India

2007-11-12T21:37:00.000-08:00

Since I have been asked by a lot of people out there how I get my hair done in India, I have decided to dedicate an entire post to this subject.

On arriving in India, the first question I asked the Nigerian men in my office (the married ones) “How does your wife get her hair done?” My hope was that through some kind of divine intervention, the god of Afro-Hairdressers would have designated/convinced one of the numerous hair dressers in Nigeria/Africa to come and open shop in Mumbai, India. Well, the answer I got was quite disappointing. The guys basically replied along the lines of “Mr A’s wife does my wife’s hair and Mr C’s wife also helps out at times” Me I didn’t want to get into this circle of doing people’s wife’s hair for a variety of reasons ( choose whichever one you think is suitable/applicable but remember I am a single babe here in India and I don’t want anybody’s wahala)

But all hope was not lost. I remember my good old boarding school days. I was one of those junior girls whom seniors would not punish on Saturday afternoons when the whole junior class was serving punishment under the hot sun of Owinni Hills. For those of you who don’t understand where I am coming from, I will have to publish a post about my days in boarding school so that you can get the background. The reason behind not being punished was so that I could plait these wicked seniors hair. This was a Saturday ritual right from my first year in Secondary school and it became an unwelcome habit. Every Saturday, I would weave no less than 10 people’s hair while my mates were cutting grass or being flogged under the sun. Initially it was cool but after the first year, it became a burden. I could not run my Saturday errands as I was busy playing the “Village Hairdresser” and all these for nothing.

But as my people will say.. “Blessings do come in disguises” All those years of finessing my plaiting skills ultimately paid off after I left Naija (Nigeria) for Jand (UK) and ultimately India. When I was in Jand, I almost never went to the saloon. I could braid, weave, plait, Ghana weave on my own head (to God be the glory) So when I was hearing all these things about Mr A and Mr B’s wives.. I was like “bust that side… aint no way I am getting involved in this shit”. I am very well capable of grooming my own head without outside interference. But since my hair is now natural, I tend to go with natural twists at the back and little plaits at the front. I am seriously rocking them afro styles here and sometimes, I even have to lie and tell people that my friend helped me to do my hair as I don’t want to freak them out.

I also need to mention that whenever I go to the Spa for facials or massages, come and see as people run their hands through my head and start gushing…”ohh.. your hair is so special”.. “ohh… your hair is so different”.. “oohh.. your hair is so this” Man.. I sometimes vex proper when this happens.. awon aye (People) They wanna use their hands to uproot my fragile hair. I am still looking for how to dodge this type of unwarranted attention.

So I hope this post has answered your questions about how a sister gets her hair done in a place like Mumbai.

PS: The webcam pics I posted in Ups and Downs is an example of one of the numerous hairstyles I bestow upon myself.

Ups and Downs

2007-11-11T08:07:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone. I seem to always apologize with every new post so I wont do so on this occasion. I have been avoiding posting stuff on my blog partly because I don’t want to post things about how almost difficult it is to live in India (when you are denied certain things which could go a long way in making your life easier).

The novelty of arriving in India has almost worn off. Now I just want to survive this place. I was told that a Nigerian girl was posted here a month before I arrived and she quit just after 8 days here. I so don’t want that to be me.

The past couple of days/weeks have been a bit hard. Hijo returned from China three days ago only to leave for abu dhabi yesterday. He’s going to be away for 2.5 months! God help us in Thane now that he’s gone. We also made a new Angolan friend (whom I will refer to as Luca) about two days ago and Luca accompanied us on one of our frequent trips to Powai (myself, Hijo, Luca and Penny). We sure had loads of fun. By the time we returned to Thane, we were absolutely fagged out! Having made a new friend in Luca, I was hoping that time here now wouldn’t be so bad without Hijo. But as fate would have it, Luca flew out to Aberdeen the very next morning after Powai and he doesn’t even know when he will be returning. Penny is going to Malaysia for a week in 2 days. This leaves only me in Thane and I am fast learning that this job will give me great friends and they could all disappear within the blink of an eye. This absolutely sucks

On the brighter side, I have decided to start “babeing-up” I am prepared to give up my social life but I will vehemenently hold on to my babe hood as this is the only thing I feel I could at least control while living here. So, to up things a little bit, I decided to go to a spa really close to my apartment. I got a full facial which includes chest (yeah.. the whole chest) and back massage. I also experienced my first threading of the eyebrows. It felt really weird. My therapist has advised that I need to come for self maintenance and follow-up every 15 days.. as far as I am concerned, she probably wants to milk me dry as often as possible. I felt absolutely good afterwards.

Oh.. and I bought a new webcam recently.. Here are two of the testing testing pictures I took.

Laters!

Hinaranandani Club House

2007-10-30T09:16:00.000-07:00

So I and Penny decided to explore what we had around our apartment block in Thane. We found out we have a club house right in front of our apartment block (btw, I live in a place called Hinarandani Meadows) which is equipped with a swimming pool, gym, badminton and squash courts. Luckily for me, I DID learn how to swim in Manchester two years ago and I also learnt to play badminton while working for Cummins Engines in Darlington. After showing a company letter along with 275 rupees, we were bona fide members of the club house! We will now have to pay 2 rupees per swimming session. Just to give you an idea.... 2 rupees = 1/40 GBP ie 0.025GBP Nice one! since I used to pay 2.85GBP per session at the Manchester Aquatics centre!!

The swimming pool is absolutely exquisite in my own opinion. I even took some pictures!

Enjoy!

Left: The swimming pool with my apartment block in the background
Right: Me, feeling all summery

And the bad quality of the second picture reminds me that I NEED to find a good quality camera!! My old brick of a mobile phone just isn’t up to the job

Penning out.. with love

Dandiya Ras and some

2007-10-29T03:44:00.000-07:00

I promised to post pictures from the Dadiya Ras festival, I have not forgotten. Hijo took some videos. These will have to wait until November before I can post them. Its going to be worth the wait.

The pics… the folks at the festival were doing some kind of dance with sticks. After taking pictures of them, they invited myself and Hijo to join the dancing circle. We danced with the circle twice before defecting. The people (bless their kind hearts) did cheer us on even though we didn’t have a clue what the dance move was all about. The joy was all in the participation. We even had a couple of locals take our pictures.. we were the only foreigners there (and boy did we pose!)

There are also some randoms attached for your viewing pleasure:

I'm Nigerian

2007-10-28T11:06:00.001-07:00

I have always wanted to put this post up but I have always found many reasons not to. First of all, I am Nigerian, and then I am everything else. In as much as I may blow the biggest grammar and add to it funky pho-ney as my fellow Nigerians would say, every last bone in my body is Naija till I D*I*E and if you don’t believe me, here is proof

Now that I have done my bit as a patriotic citizen of the motherland, I must say that at times, it is very difficult to be a Nigerian passport holder. As a matter of fact, every law abiding citizen of Nigeria who dares to conduct a life outside of Nigeria deserves a medal for being brave enough to hold this green passport. Many a time that I have not been considered for job applications, many a time I have been given a load of shit at embassies and consulates, many a time I have even lied about my true nationality because being “Nigerian” would not have been appropriate. Some passports open unlimited doors around the world for their citizens, the green passport which I hold has unfortunately closed certain doors but for the grace of God and his unwavering favor. But still, I am proud to be Nigerian because it makes me a fighter and a survivor. It makes me the person whom I am and everywhere I go, I have found love and acceptance with the people I have met.

To all Nigerians out there, keep fighting, keep surviving and most importantly, don’t give up while clutching your green passport close to your ever erratically beating heart.