Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Dating the Naija way

My people, to be a single hard working Naija girl at the age of 26 (fast approaching 27) is not an easy business oh. You get your mates who got married at 22 with 3 kids asking when they are coming to eat your “wedding rice” – as if they don’t know how to cook rice in their own house. Then there are the ones who are telling you not to do too much “shakara” for potential suitors – Who says I am doing “shakara”? Just because I am single at 26 does not mean I will shack up with just any “olocious” fellow. Those are the girls. Where do I start with the suitors? There are the ones who meet you and after 2 weeks are professing love and marriage (as if!) I don’t get why Naija guys do that ish!. You also get to meet the ones who just want to “have a good time” Boy oh boy does a young girl tread through serious minefield of never-ending issues.
I was in church last Sunday and Pastor preached one very stimulating sermon. “ it is better to wait 10 – 15 years for your life partner than to hook up with someone who is not for you now… you will regret it” I truly believe that pastor was talking to me.

So there was the recent bobo I met. Only calls like once in 2/3 days. He has asked me to be his “girl” but something just doesn’t feel right. As in, bobo is saying he is interested but actions show otherwise. I am the type of girl who loves attention, I love to talk about my day, I love to be free with my inner emotions and be chased about with telephone calls and text messages and also call up my boo anytime I like but it must be with the right guy. Emphasis on the RIGHT GUY. And this is the problem with Naija boy/girl relations. The games that people play for each other in the name of “fronting”. My word.. then there are also the guys who are afraid of confident successful females. Abeg, if a guy does not feel confident enough to step up to me, I don’t even want to hear it. I am not interested. This is a definite attraction killer for me. I cannot apologize for who I am today and how far I have come. It did not happen overnight. If only I could tell my story in a book, I would write a million pages!

So with this said, I am honestly getting sick and tired of Naija boy drama and all the protocols. What ever happened to boy meets girl, boy likes girl and girl likes boy, they date, enjoy themselves, move things to the next level and everyone lives happily ever after? ( in my dreams shey??) Lol!

Well, I am making a pact with myself. I find love where I find love. I end up living my life for me and no one else. All these fake naija boys can go hug transformer for all I care

(apologies to my correct male readers! Of course you know that wasn’t for you!!)



Ebonyexcite said...

woww nice one.. naija men can act retarded sometimes, professing nonsense when they have no clue of what they are talking about! i admire women like you who know what they want.

Ebonyexcite said...

wow and you are Capricorn too! cool! anyway i am trying to follow your blog but i can't seem to find the button. i am new @ this so advice.. thanks

Anonymous said...


Are you Capricorn too?? I will have to sit to catch up with your blog or something. Your writing style reminds me of another blog i used to follow called 30+. The babe has quit blogging now. How to follow my blog?? Its hard to explain. Go to your dashboard and you will have to copy the link to my homepage there and it should work ( that is the seriously short description though!)

Onose said...

Hahaha nice post. Well said. Most people aren't serious minded these days. Women feel like men set the tone for relationships, meaning if the guy isnt serious they won't be either. Some women don't know how much power they really have. if we as women make a man understand we arent to be played with then we wouldn't be getting 'played'.

mike said...

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Tolantino said...

@ ebony excite: Did you manage to follow my blog? So your birthday must have recently gone by. Happy belated o!
@Onose: for the women who know how much power they have and have found a way to harness it... I am happy for them. For those of us that are still feeling our feet on the ground.. God will help us all

omozino said...

I totally agree with the part were some guys are intimidated by a successful confident woman. I got that all the time until I realized that I cannot apologise for my success. Make them hug transformer. My first time here nice blog.

Anonymous said...

wow i love the way you write.